Was Nick Backstrom’s Grandma Behind His ‘Doping’ Charge?



By Doud


So if you recall leading up to the Winter Games Sweden’s Nicklas Backstrom had some familial detractors in the homeland.  Granny Back’ stating that lil Nicky would make a fool of himself and all that shit.  Well low and behold, who gets locked out of the Gold Medal game a mere 2 hours prior?  Sweden’s most irrationally hated grandson of course.  


Sweden got jobbed BIG TIME on this one.  Dude has allergies, takes Zyrtec D which apparently has pseudo-ephedrine as an active ingredient, which of course is a banned substance by only the IOC.  No other athletic governing body on this planet lists that as illegal yet 2 hours to perhaps the biggest game he’ll ever play in his career considering he is employed by the Washington Capitals, he gets yanked.  Dude has seasonal allergies.  The weather was spring like in Sochi so I’m sure he was sneezing his face off the whole trip.  “Sorry bro, you cant play for the gold medal today even though we’ve had your results for like 3 days and you told us going into the games you take Zyrtec.”  I’d bet anything his grandma put in a call to keep him out of his game just to be ruthless like that.


IOC, keepin it corrupt and shady since the beginnig of time.


No chance they would have beat Canada anyway.

Great Moments Are Born of Great Opportunity.



By Doud


As of 12 noon today, Friday February 21st 2014, your work day has concluded.  Its over.  You have one duty today and that is to represent your country and do your family proud by focusing all your will and attention to the nearest TV as it focuses on the crescendo of 4 years worth of build up.  Today We fight back.  We will not vanish without a FIGHT.  Today we hit them where it hurts.  Today we take what’s ours.  Today we shut them down BECAUSE WE CAN.  Our boys may be over in a foreign land fighting the good fight but that does not mean we are not there with them.  Get up, look your boss in the eye and dare him to look at you straight in the face and dictate what’s important today.  This is our country.  This is our game.  This is our time.  Should we win the day, it won’t be a miracle, no sir.  We are meant to be here, and we are built to play for gold.  We skate the ponds, we brave the pre-dawn ice times, we embrace the bitter chill and long for it to reach into our souls and pull out the best in us, just the same as our northern neighbors do.  A moment of perfection on the ice ignites the same feeling of freedom and eternal youthfulness in the land of the free as it does anywhere else on this planet.  Hockey is a club that holds its members tightly, the bond forged by shared hardship and mutual passion, by every trip to the pond where your feet hurt and your face is cold and you might get a stick in the ribs or a puck in the mouth, and you still can’t wait to get back out there because you are smitten with the sound of blades scraping against the ice and pucks clacking off sticks, and with the game’s speed and ever-changing geometry.  It has a way of becoming the center of your life even when you’re not on the ice. 


This is every bit our game.  Today is our time.  USA Hockey is do or die.

Good Job Russia, Way to Be









By Doud


If I’m Being totally honest with myself, I was actually rooting for Russia since the prospect of a potential USA/Russia Cold War rematch/Gold Medal match up was too glorious to ignore.  Would have been the most unreal game played on frozen water possibly ever.  But of course Russia fucked it up, much like they’ve fucked up the entire construction of the city of Sochi.  Watching their entire second rate nation weep after such high expectations may be as awesome as what Rocky v Drago part 2 would have been.


Head coach Zinetruoweorwenrnklwek Bilydsaoirjhlkrnkl or whatever had this to say:

Q (Reporter): What future, if any, do you see for your own work and for your coaching staff? Because, you know, your predecessor was eaten alive after the Olympics—

A (Bilyaletdinov): Well then, eat me alive right now—

Q: No, I mean—

A: Eat me, and I won’t be here anymore.

Q: But we have the world championship coming up!

A: Well then, there will be a different coach because I won’t exist any more, since you will have eaten me.

Q: But you’re staying, aren’t you?

A: Yes, I will remain living.


OK bro sounds good, ship this dude off to wherever Hannibal Lector is chillin nowadays.  Most likely an easier fate than whatever Putin has in store for the remainder of his life.  Way to do nothing to get Ovechkin going like putting him on the right side half boards on the power play where hes most effective, or continue to play Radulov in the USA game which basically gave the Americans that game considering he was a moronic penalty machine in that match.  Perhaps introduce a defensive scheme once in a while, heard that’s pretty cool.  Maybe don’t rely on 4 players individual skill.


So now the semifinal games are both rematches of the last 2 Gold Medal Games.  Should be sick. Enjoy, Russia, as every nation you despise celebrates medal victories on your own soil.

TJ Just Doin The Damn Thing in Warmies Yesterday. Does Canada Really Stand A Chance Tomorrow?

By Doud

What else can be said bout Osh mcGosh that hasn’t already? Just CRUSHING the Olympics through and through. Sick mitts.

Absolute border war tomorrow at noon. I’ll likely be drinking/hopefully celebrating hard at Saloon NYC or the Puck. If you consider yourself an American and have any pride in yourself you’ll find a way to watch the game. Must exact revenge for 2010 and earn the right to play for gold. Its our density….i mean, our DESTINY.

Honestly its a fuckin Friday and its likely the most important day in our nation’s history so for there to be work at all anywhere tomorrow is a crime. Even the criminals will set their illegal goals aside to take on the cold hat from the north.

Do the right thing.

Fuck Canada.

PS Hilary Knights relationship with me is on the line currently, get that gold woman or ill kick you to the curb


Johnny Tav Done For Year, NHL’ers In Olympics is SWEET.



All of Long Island as of yesterday:

By Doud

Well this was inevitable.  A star player succumbing to a debilitating injury during a tournament where he doesn’t get paid, in the middle of the height of the NHL season, and is on the other side of the planet attempting to uphold his native patriotism.  How cool must it be to be an Islander fan?  Team was goin nowhere as it was, now the only glimmer of home and reason to venture forth to the Mausoleum is on the shelf til next fall.  Zero chance Tommy Van sticks around for this shit.

TJ Oshie is American as FUCK




By Doud

My GOD what a game. It’s only a preliminary round win but guess what? USA 2-0, Apollo Creed is happy as hell looking down on our great nation, and Putin can go fuck himself. Overwhelming odds he’s already ordered the execution of not only the refs for disallowing the go ahead goal by Tyutin (right call) but also that dickhead Alex Radulov for taking two awful penalties that yielded the American tallys. How he was allowed to see the ice by his coach after even the first infraction is absurd, but Uncle Sam/Ryan Callahan will take it and shove it back in your commie face:


Oh yea and TJ Oshie is a fuckin stud. Just stay out there bro, it was legit him against the iron curtain and freedom prevailed. NOW CUE THE FUCKIN MUSIC:

P.S. if you didnt catch it, Doc Emerick’s final words on the broadcast were brilliant: “So many paid their rubles to see the home team win…not this game, not tonight.” An ode to herb Brooks’ famous pre game speech.

Nik Backstrom’s Grandma Hates Him




By Doud


Aftonbladet: “He will make a fool of himself.  He has played so poorly.”


Safe to say Nik doesn’t get birthday cards with like $20 from G-ma anymore.  Grandma Backstrom legit could be the only person in the history of humanity that’s basically pissed off one of her kin is representing her homeland in the friggen Olympic Games.  Not at all proud of her grandson’s accomplishment and gives no fucks.  Gotta imagine this sparks his will to capture gold and tournament MVP just to shove it in his crusty-ass granny’s face.