you’ve woken up in a new age: ron duguay gets a haircut.

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Ron Duguay: Before.

by Doud

so you’re tellin me bon jovi will no longer be on ranger pre and post games?  the 80s are officially dead.  definitely waaayy over due but ya gotta respect the godfather of flow, a pioneer in the game of superb salad.  the only man in the game who could at any point rival jagr’s reign as hockey’s flowmaster, and had the staying power which both preceded and exceded jaromir. and my man’s wearin ties now.  welcome to life bro.   r.i.p. duguay flow, the greatest of them all.

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ps you’ll notice no capital letters were used in this post.  none will be used so long as the rangers are playing the caps. #nocaps

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Tonight’s Schedule and Fike Misher

  

By Trapp

Possible series clinchers tonight with Chicago and Calgary. Going to be another very exciting night of playoff hockey. 

Nashville’s only hope is if Carrie Underwood is present tonight. Also Fike Misher is in the same category as Dan Girardi for strong as fuck faces. 

  

Gib waj.

Orpik Takes A Beer to the Face

By Doud

Gotta give credit to the barbarian Isle fans for keeping enough beer in their cup ’til the end of OT to even be able to accomplish this feat.  I need a longer clip here to see if he drank Long Island reeb right in their faces in celebration of the Cap’s OT victory off a Nik Backstrom GWG.   Drink up Brooks….btw your name is plural which is weird cuz you’re one singular person so clean that shit up.

UFA Mikhail Grabovski Signs With Minsk Ravens in Belarus, Who Play Soccer.

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By Doud

Looking for depth at center off the annual summer free agent express? Want an excess of waived off kick in goals next season? Grab Grabby fresh off the futbol field since apparently that’s what Mik will be doing this summer. Good chance he’ll take the most embellishment calls next season since I’m sure he’ll pick that trait up fairly quickly.

Ray Liotta Got Fired Today

By Trapp

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Adam Oates and George McPhee got fired and who cares?

I personally think that this team peaked and they suck. Alex Ovechkin doesn’t give a fuck about defensive hockey hence not backcheckin to catch a yug on a breakaway and Nick Backstrom looks like Charlize Theron from Monster:

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Pustin Denner Traded On National Pancake Day. Can’t Make This Shit Up

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By Doud

How do you celebrate National Pancake day? By trading a dude that once legit jacked himself up while crushin ‘cakes. You make that move 100 times out of 100. Its just proper asset management, you don’t need a dude on your roster liable to blow out an ACL or some shit while running to IHOP. Throw on top of it the trade deadline is is tomorrow, Penner is an impending UFA and DC is on the other side of the continent and yea no shit this was the first domino to fall on the NHL transaction wire this morning.

Was Nick Backstrom’s Grandma Behind His ‘Doping’ Charge?

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By Doud

 

So if you recall leading up to the Winter Games Sweden’s Nicklas Backstrom had some familial detractors in the homeland.  Granny Back’ stating that lil Nicky would make a fool of himself and all that shit.  Well low and behold, who gets locked out of the Gold Medal game a mere 2 hours prior?  Sweden’s most irrationally hated grandson of course.  

 

Sweden got jobbed BIG TIME on this one.  Dude has allergies, takes Zyrtec D which apparently has pseudo-ephedrine as an active ingredient, which of course is a banned substance by only the IOC.  No other athletic governing body on this planet lists that as illegal yet 2 hours to perhaps the biggest game he’ll ever play in his career considering he is employed by the Washington Capitals, he gets yanked.  Dude has seasonal allergies.  The weather was spring like in Sochi so I’m sure he was sneezing his face off the whole trip.  “Sorry bro, you cant play for the gold medal today even though we’ve had your results for like 3 days and you told us going into the games you take Zyrtec.”  I’d bet anything his grandma put in a call to keep him out of his game just to be ruthless like that.

 

IOC, keepin it corrupt and shady since the beginnig of time.

 

No chance they would have beat Canada anyway.