Good Job Russia, Way to Be









By Doud


If I’m Being totally honest with myself, I was actually rooting for Russia since the prospect of a potential USA/Russia Cold War rematch/Gold Medal match up was too glorious to ignore.  Would have been the most unreal game played on frozen water possibly ever.  But of course Russia fucked it up, much like they’ve fucked up the entire construction of the city of Sochi.  Watching their entire second rate nation weep after such high expectations may be as awesome as what Rocky v Drago part 2 would have been.


Head coach Zinetruoweorwenrnklwek Bilydsaoirjhlkrnkl or whatever had this to say:

Q (Reporter): What future, if any, do you see for your own work and for your coaching staff? Because, you know, your predecessor was eaten alive after the Olympics—

A (Bilyaletdinov): Well then, eat me alive right now—

Q: No, I mean—

A: Eat me, and I won’t be here anymore.

Q: But we have the world championship coming up!

A: Well then, there will be a different coach because I won’t exist any more, since you will have eaten me.

Q: But you’re staying, aren’t you?

A: Yes, I will remain living.


OK bro sounds good, ship this dude off to wherever Hannibal Lector is chillin nowadays.  Most likely an easier fate than whatever Putin has in store for the remainder of his life.  Way to do nothing to get Ovechkin going like putting him on the right side half boards on the power play where hes most effective, or continue to play Radulov in the USA game which basically gave the Americans that game considering he was a moronic penalty machine in that match.  Perhaps introduce a defensive scheme once in a while, heard that’s pretty cool.  Maybe don’t rely on 4 players individual skill.


So now the semifinal games are both rematches of the last 2 Gold Medal Games.  Should be sick. Enjoy, Russia, as every nation you despise celebrates medal victories on your own soil.

TJ Oshie is American as FUCK




By Doud

My GOD what a game. It’s only a preliminary round win but guess what? USA 2-0, Apollo Creed is happy as hell looking down on our great nation, and Putin can go fuck himself. Overwhelming odds he’s already ordered the execution of not only the refs for disallowing the go ahead goal by Tyutin (right call) but also that dickhead Alex Radulov for taking two awful penalties that yielded the American tallys. How he was allowed to see the ice by his coach after even the first infraction is absurd, but Uncle Sam/Ryan Callahan will take it and shove it back in your commie face:


Oh yea and TJ Oshie is a fuckin stud. Just stay out there bro, it was legit him against the iron curtain and freedom prevailed. NOW CUE THE FUCKIN MUSIC:

P.S. if you didnt catch it, Doc Emerick’s final words on the broadcast were brilliant: “So many paid their rubles to see the home team win…not this game, not tonight.” An ode to herb Brooks’ famous pre game speech.

Kovalchuk: Not A Fan Of The Gays


By Doud

So this is gonna come up a lot leading up to and likely during the Olympics considering they’re being held in a backward ass country that literally has laws in place against being gay. Being that the NHL has been a pioneer in the field of equality on the topic working with the ‘You Can Play’ initiative to promote tolerance of gay athletes everywhere, and endorsed by such stars as Henrik Lundqvist, Stars of the game have already begun to field questions pertaining to their stance on the topic.

Ilya Kovalchuk said this yesterday: “I agree, of course…I’m Russian and we all have to respect that. It’s personal and, like I said, it’s a free world, but that’s our line. That’s our country, so everybody has to respect that.”

So yea it’s a free world where he’s allowed to think what he wants. It’s also a free world (apparently not in Russia however) where people can love how they want. Good call bro. Keep doin you, Russia. Although its entirely possible ‘chuk is just as terrified of the wrath of Putin as probably everyone in Siberia should be, dude is all man.