That’s Right, And It’s The Choice Of A New Generation

By BLB

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Grabovski Refers To Ex Teammate As A ‘Musketeer’

By Trapp

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Yeah a musketeer who sucks at being a musketeer. Kessel would be the weakest musketeer of all time. If Kessel was a musketeer and they made costumes that portrayed Kessel and they were sold at like Party City, they wouldn’t sell. Even a six year old would realize that Kessel would be a terrible musketeer. Chuck Sheen was a bad ass Musketeer from the 1993 film “The Three Musketeers”.

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Also, I love Grabovski’s closing remarks:

“I don’t care about that team. Who cares? My team is here.”

Yikes.

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Has This Been The Best Preseason Ever?







by Doud

So we’re a week out from real, actual NHL action but good god what a hell of a preseason its been.
Last night B-Town turned into Beat-down Town as the Capitals apparently take exception to legal hits and dropped em with regularity. Joel Rechlicz did solid damage to Milan Lucic’s knuckles with his nose, Aaron Volpatti rearranged Kevan Miller’s sinuses, and there was a 2-fer in the corner to round it out. Also Chara had a straight up BOMB on the PP to tie it in the third.
Then there was the complete debacle of a mele in Toronto. Phil Kessel not only is the ugliest motherfucker alive, but apparently hes a huge bitch. Granted, John Scott could literally devour any human alive and could easily be mistaken for an actual tree, but still bro man up and not use your stick like goddamn Paul Bunyan how bout. i’d have more respect for you if you just turtled but what kinda man doesn’t at least drop ’em and act as a seat belt for big John? Clarky gettin automatic 10 for commin off the bench to defend the hideous little guy sucks for Toronto but he shouldda been on the ice anyway instead of Phil. All that came after the 2 teams the previous night went the distance in the shootout and then some, which was only highlighted by Paul Ranger’s kick shot attempt which fuckin RULED. Pleas eput him in every shootout this year, if he went bar down on that I prob wouldda moved to Iowa.
Oh and Sam Gagner’s face sucks now.
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This is gonna be a kick ass season.

P.S. Marian Gaborik’s definitely gonna score 45 this year. Mark it down.

Kessel Could Be The Worst Human Being Alive

By Trapp

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I don’t care what anyone says I really don’t. This guy is as soft as baby shit and he’s a borderline creep. Actually take borderline outta the equation and let’s just go with he’s a fuckin creep. He looks like Johnny’s friend from the Karate Kid who announced at the tournament in the dojo that they should put Laruso in a body bag. NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT RALPH MACCHIO.

CASE AND POINT
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Moving on….

I’m gonna start off with this video

That’s Kessel from the Karate Kid, God he sucks

Here’s Kessel being just super awkward..probably drinkin All-Sport

I straight up typed in ‘kessel awkward’ on youtube and sure enough this one popped up and so did this next one…

Yup, that’s it. Bro you’re terrible.

This next one is the reason why I proclaimed that he’s as soft as baby shit. Yeah you got John Scott comin after you, but…defend yourself. Don’t shy away and swing at him with your stick and hit him like a baseball, then you low blow him by him doin it to Scott while he’s down?

Crosby at least defends himself. I hope you don’t make team USA.

Also, stop doin the candycane tape job to your sticks…kids did that when they were like 8.

PLAN THE PARADE!…Wait, Maple Leafs President Already Did..

Tim Leiweke

By Doud

Soooooooo new MLSE President Tim Leiweke is either a genius or an idiot. Apparently he took all those jokes tossed the Maple Leafs’ way pretty literally when someone said “plan the parade!” Dude literally did that. I’m sure there was someone on sport talk radio in Toronto that uttered the phrase when the news came down that Tim was hired, and he I guess took that literally as if it was a function of his job.
Kinda gotta admire the brazen of this guy, fans have been mocking the Leafs forever after every signing or trade they make by sayin ‘plan the parade” and he did just that. Balls. Well played.

Hey Boston:



By Doud

Seriously though. But really with that ending. I swear I’ve seen a lotta shit in my time but DAMN. Not sure if I’ve ever seen the Cup legit stolen like that. Unreal. Bruins are basically “HEY HONEY I’M WINNING I’M WINNING..AND I’M DEAD.”
Toronto commin in HOT:
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Fuckin karma bro.