Ya Know, When I Prayed for the Rangers to Win the Cup This Year, This Isn’t What I Meant.

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by Doud

Literally me watching this Cup Final:

Let’s just run it all down:

CHICAGO:

-Brad Richards

-Dan Carcillo

TAMPA:

-Ryan Callahan

-Anton StralMAN

-Brian Boyle

-Johnathan Marchessault (Connecticut Whale 2011-12)

-Pat Verbeek (Assistant GM, Dir. of Player Personnel)

Granted, I was all for the Cally/Marty swap, and Richards’ play through the 2014 run did nothing but justify his benching by Torts the previous year and I was all for buying him out last summer, but still.  This is all so brutal. Cally and Rich scoring in game 3 was not cool, not cool at all.  Don’t even get me started on the fact that the Rangers literally had Stamkos back in ’09.

FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCK

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Ryan Callahan Didn’t Score In The Shootout…Weird

By Trapp

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The guy who is a bonafide 3rd line forward who scores 40 points a season and was asking for north of $6 mil per season was called upon by his new club to score and extend the shootout last night. And whatyaknow, he did his predictable bender leg kick move then attempted to stuff it in far post on the forehand. The goalie made the save look non chalant and that was the end of the game.

Callahan’s shit move is what I used to practice when I was a squirt in 1999 because I was 10 years old and a squirt. Not 28 and in the National. You should have better moves especially for a guy who apparently is a winner (hasn’t won jack shit) and wants to join the $6 million dollar club…

Brad Richards Fiancée Is Borderline Attractive

By Trapp

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It’s pretty cut and dry that in 2011-2012 when Brad was dating Olivia Munn he was playing REAAALLLY good for the rangers. Like ginos on the reg good. They split, he sucked until playoffs. Then last year he must’ve not gotten any ass at all because he “belonged in the snack bar”.

It’s been reported that Bradford has become engaged to Rechelle Jenkins over the Olympic break. Listen Rechelle, with us about to lose Callahan very soon you must literally give Brad a couple quickies before practices and games just so he plays that much better down the final stretch.

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SUP SUN DRESS

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TJ Oshie is American as FUCK

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SMOKESHOW wife.
By Doud

My GOD what a game. It’s only a preliminary round win but guess what? USA 2-0, Apollo Creed is happy as hell looking down on our great nation, and Putin can go fuck himself. Overwhelming odds he’s already ordered the execution of not only the refs for disallowing the go ahead goal by Tyutin (right call) but also that dickhead Alex Radulov for taking two awful penalties that yielded the American tallys. How he was allowed to see the ice by his coach after even the first infraction is absurd, but Uncle Sam/Ryan Callahan will take it and shove it back in your commie face:

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Oh yea and TJ Oshie is a fuckin stud. Just stay out there bro, it was legit him against the iron curtain and freedom prevailed. NOW CUE THE FUCKIN MUSIC:

P.S. if you didnt catch it, Doc Emerick’s final words on the broadcast were brilliant: “So many paid their rubles to see the home team win…not this game, not tonight.” An ode to herb Brooks’ famous pre game speech.

Ryan Callahan Will Likely Be Traded. Deal With It.

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by Doud

 

Yes, Ryan Callahan is our captain and sets the tone for hard working, sacrificing the self for the team mentality that has permeated each Rangers team since his arrival on Broadway.  As an impending Unrestricted Free Agent, however, Glen Sather CAN NOT give in to the exorbitant demands of a glorified third liner.

 

What does Cally do well? Lays his body on the line every night, every play; blocks shots with reckless abandon; consistently leads team and league in hits; stout in all three zones, especially along boards in neutral zone to thwart enemy rushes as well as on the forecheck; unequivocal leader in locker room.  He’s one of those players with great intangibles that teams covet for championship runs.  These are all talents that have justified the ‘C’ on his chest and got him a spot on the USA Olympic squad (we’ll see how such talents parlay on to the bigger ice).  Then why run him out of town?  As an impending UFA who is searching for a long term deal for big money, you simply can not commit the 7 years and large cap hit he desires to a player who is constantly on the IR, does not put up big points, and is undersized.  

For a team that was man handled and out classed by the bigger, faster Bruins in the Eastern Conference Semi’s last spring, Glen Sather has an opportunity to upgrade his club on the ice by bringing in a cheaper, younger, bigger power forward with big offensive upside in the form of Chris Stewart of St. Louis, who although has been inconsistent this season on a top team will likely benefit from a change of scenery into an offensively flowing team such as the Rangers under Alain Vigneault.  Another option would be Jamie McGinn in Colorado, an even younger player who fits the same mold. Fact is, despite the Rangers’ recent surge, they’re doing it on the backs of miniature Mats Zuccarello, here and there center Derrick Brassard who has never been one to throw his body around, and the ever soft and inconsistent Benoit Pouliot.  they need size and skill to go up against Boston and Pittsburgh.  

 

Now if by some miracle Captain Cally gains rationality comes down on his demands before the trade deadline, by all means re-sign him and keep that leadership in the room.  But what exactly has the leadership in the Rangers’ room ever won?  At some point during the 7 year term of Henrik Lundqvist’s newly minted deal this team needs to become a champion, and as currently constructed it can easily be argued that this rangers team lacks certain tools needed to bring the elusive Stanley to MSG.  Sometimes you have to give to get.

 

 

 

new York Rangers 2013-’14 Team Mantra: IN THE FACE


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By Doud

Christ its 2 games in and already Cally gets sticked in the face by Kopitar last night, has emergency dental work done (obviously doesn’t miss much of the game), McDonagh took the pill to the chops in Phoenix, Pyatt with a puck to the grill on his first shift last night, and of course Staal commin back from the gruesome puck to eye last March. how bout lets not put our grills in the mix that much? At this rate someone will be beheaded before the home opener. That’s bad for your health I hear.

I’M GONNA LIVE FOREVER

By Trapp

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Star forwards for the Edmonton Oilers and the New York Rangers return to their lineups tonight for their first games of the season. Ryan Nugent-Hopkins return from shoulder surgery that he had in April…APRIL!

And Rangers Captain Ryan Callahan is comin back Tommy John surgery naaa I’m just playin. He had surgery in the off season to repair a torn labrum. Tonight is Callahan’s first game under Coach Alain Vigneault. He looks to add some offense to this team who dropped their first game to Phoenix 4-1. Tonight the Oilers face the Devils in Edmonton @ 9:30PM. The Rangers faceoff against the Los Angeles Kings in LA @ 10:30PM.

With these injuries now behind both Ryans better score the first goals for their teams and when they do so, they must scream this after their goal: