Does Anyone Honestly Care About the Toronto Maple Leafs?

By Trapp

  

What a mess: first Coach Carlyle gets the axe, Kadri over sleeps gets suspended, Booth and Kessel get into fight at practice. And now Eric’s secretary is in a coma…

  

I don’t ever wish upon a team what I went through as a Ranger fan during the dark ages aka 1997-2004. If it’s gotta happen it should happen to the Leafs because of this guy:

  

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Grabovski Refers To Ex Teammate As A ‘Musketeer’

By Trapp

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Yeah a musketeer who sucks at being a musketeer. Kessel would be the weakest musketeer of all time. If Kessel was a musketeer and they made costumes that portrayed Kessel and they were sold at like Party City, they wouldn’t sell. Even a six year old would realize that Kessel would be a terrible musketeer. Chuck Sheen was a bad ass Musketeer from the 1993 film “The Three Musketeers”.

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Also, I love Grabovski’s closing remarks:

“I don’t care about that team. Who cares? My team is here.”

Yikes.

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Has This Been The Best Preseason Ever?







by Doud

So we’re a week out from real, actual NHL action but good god what a hell of a preseason its been.
Last night B-Town turned into Beat-down Town as the Capitals apparently take exception to legal hits and dropped em with regularity. Joel Rechlicz did solid damage to Milan Lucic’s knuckles with his nose, Aaron Volpatti rearranged Kevan Miller’s sinuses, and there was a 2-fer in the corner to round it out. Also Chara had a straight up BOMB on the PP to tie it in the third.
Then there was the complete debacle of a mele in Toronto. Phil Kessel not only is the ugliest motherfucker alive, but apparently hes a huge bitch. Granted, John Scott could literally devour any human alive and could easily be mistaken for an actual tree, but still bro man up and not use your stick like goddamn Paul Bunyan how bout. i’d have more respect for you if you just turtled but what kinda man doesn’t at least drop ’em and act as a seat belt for big John? Clarky gettin automatic 10 for commin off the bench to defend the hideous little guy sucks for Toronto but he shouldda been on the ice anyway instead of Phil. All that came after the 2 teams the previous night went the distance in the shootout and then some, which was only highlighted by Paul Ranger’s kick shot attempt which fuckin RULED. Pleas eput him in every shootout this year, if he went bar down on that I prob wouldda moved to Iowa.
Oh and Sam Gagner’s face sucks now.
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This is gonna be a kick ass season.

P.S. Marian Gaborik’s definitely gonna score 45 this year. Mark it down.

Kessel Could Be The Worst Human Being Alive

By Trapp

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I don’t care what anyone says I really don’t. This guy is as soft as baby shit and he’s a borderline creep. Actually take borderline outta the equation and let’s just go with he’s a fuckin creep. He looks like Johnny’s friend from the Karate Kid who announced at the tournament in the dojo that they should put Laruso in a body bag. NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT RALPH MACCHIO.

CASE AND POINT
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Moving on….

I’m gonna start off with this video

That’s Kessel from the Karate Kid, God he sucks

Here’s Kessel being just super awkward..probably drinkin All-Sport

I straight up typed in ‘kessel awkward’ on youtube and sure enough this one popped up and so did this next one…

Yup, that’s it. Bro you’re terrible.

This next one is the reason why I proclaimed that he’s as soft as baby shit. Yeah you got John Scott comin after you, but…defend yourself. Don’t shy away and swing at him with your stick and hit him like a baseball, then you low blow him by him doin it to Scott while he’s down?

Crosby at least defends himself. I hope you don’t make team USA.

Also, stop doin the candycane tape job to your sticks…kids did that when they were like 8.

Straight Fire: Russian Olympic Jerseys

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by Doud

So apparently it seems like I’m the only one who likes the USA Unis unveiled the other day which means I’m the only one around here with any kinda style sense. Well if you hated those then the threads that host country Russia will don this winter will make you wanna murder babies, at least their white set will anyway.

Subtly yet not so subtly the Siberian sweaters are laden with their overt intentios of capturing gold a 9th time in front of their home crowd; the whites display their 8 Gold Medals down the right sleeve while the reds display the russian flag trimmed in gold as it’s sleeve stripes along with said 8 gold medals on the shoulder yokes. Everyone’s gonna cringe when the rock the whites but here’s why it’s sick: the entire white of the sweater (body and arms) is a silhouette (big word for you beauts I know) of their 2 headed eagle national crest. Creative and distinct yet simple and stylish for a 2 week tournament that happens once every 4 years. Dope city. Well done Nike, I approve.

Whatever you feel about the unis worn by each country, theres no question the ugliest thng in the tournament will be Phil Kessel..
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