My Five NHL Draft Busts

By Trapp

With the first round of the NHL draft just hours away let’s go down memory lane and see my five draft busts list.

Nikita Filatov – Drafted by the Columbus Blue Jackets, 1st round, 6th overall 2008 draft

What the fuck happened man? You didn’t wanna play a little defense in Ken HitchCOCK’s system in Columbus? You managed 9 games in Ottawa and then it was off to the K. Your numbers in the KHL are remarkably underwhelming too. Ya lasted 53 NHL games. Notable player drafted after this dud: Erik Karlsson…

Nail Yakupov – Drafted by the Edmonton Oilers, 1st round, 1st overall 2012 draft

Holy hell have you let everyone down so far. It’s been 6 years since your draft year annnnnnd well let’s just say you AREN’T exactly this generations Pavel Bure and ya also never eclipsed over 35 points in a season. Your first name is Nail.. fucking NAIL. The NHL needs a goal scoring machine superstar named Nail! You’re only 24 and the NHL is a young mans game but the thing is you’ve been St. Louis’ and Colorado’s reclamation project. The third team to take you on should be the last. Just get a hold of whatever Ovechkin and Kuznetsov are drinking and light it up. It would be hilarious if you won the Hart Trophy next year. Notable player drafted after Nail: Filip Forsberg

Hugh Jessiman – Drafted by the New York Rangers, 1st round, 12th overall 2003 draft

2003 was the DEEPEST NHL DRAFT EVER and THIS.. THIS.. this is who the Rangers drafted. Holy shit. Gonna just get right to it. TWO NHL games. That is it. And here is a list of the players in that draft that went after Hugh:

Dustin Brown

Brent Seabrook (Oceanstream)

Zach Parise

Ryan Getzlaf

Brent Burns

Ryan Kesler

Mike Richards

Corey Perry

Loui Eriksson

Patrice Bergeron

Shea Weber

Alexander Daigle – Drafted by the Ottawa Senators, 1st round, 1st overall 1993 draft

Good God what did you do? Your numbers in QMJHL prior and leading up to the draft make my neck hurt bro.

91-92 season, 35g, 75a for 110pts in 66 games played. LOL ok. The next season, 92-93 legit your draft year… 45g, 92a for 137pts in 53 games played. You play a full season with the Senators your rookie season in 93-94 and post 51 points. OK maybe the kid needs to acclimate. It just doesn’t pan out after that.

It’s like you set the bar at 51 to be the MAX points you’ll contribute to a season when things were going well. Like aahhh shit 18 games left you could eclipse 60 points for sure.. Naa I’m good with 51. YA DID manage 616 games. A lot of people expect that number to be goals. I will say, your HockeyDB pic is very Point Break so that’s cool. Notable player(s) drafted after you: Chris Pronger, Paul Kariya.

Patrik Stefan – Drafted by the Atlanta Thrashers 1st round, 1st overall 1999 draft

Could be all Brian Burke’s fault, honestly. Atlanta sat with the 2nd overall pick in the draft and a goddamn determined BRIAN Burke and Vancouver Canucks were Sedin Army all the way.

Here’s footage of Marc Crawford trying to stop Burkey from making deals to move up in the draft:

Atlanta was like “Ight we’ll select Stefan first overall so the Sedins can go to Vancouver.” I mean the ‘99 draft wasn’t necessarily loaded but good lord. Pick Martin Havlat over Stefan! He survived 6 seasons with the Thrashers and played his final season at age 27 with the Dallas Stars in the 2006-2007 season. He’s most memorable for missing an empty net that was cock length away which then resulted in the Oilers going down the other way to tie the game in the final second of the game. Here you can watch, Ray Ferarro is gold in this by the way:

Mike HoffMAN Traded Twice Before Lunch

By Trapp

The Ottawa Senators are a dumpster fire. First the Assistant GM has allegations toward him about gettin weird with a driver and then the story breaks about HoffMAN’s fiancé cyber bullying Erik Karlsson’s wife. Not a good look for the franchise.

So, within days of all that coming out, GM Pierre Dorion fuckin trades HoffMAN to San Jose along with defenseman Cody Donaghey and a 2020 fifth round draft pick, for Mikkel Boedker, defenseman Julius Bergman and a 2020 sixth rounder. Ok cool.

Two hours later.

Doug Wilson GM of San Jose gives Dale Tallon, GM of the Florida Panthers, a call and they strike a deal. HoffMAN is sent BAAACK to the East and to the same goddamn division. Hey Senators, you get to play Michael and the Cats four times next season. Going back to San Jose in the deal from Florida was a 2019 second-round pick, a 2018 fourth-round pick and a 2018 fifth-round pick.

That’s some GM sorcery by Doug Wilson. Shedding Boedker’s contract and collecting draft picks which never hurts. This clears cap room for them to take a run at free agents John Tavares and Ilya Kovalchuk. And as for Ottawa… yea it’s just gonna get worse when Karlsson is eventually dealt.

Matt Duchene must be thrilled…

Yea Well McDavid’s Back

By Trapp

  
Listen I’m just gonna say this: Yug misses 37 games… First game back… He does this… Holy God.

He scored ALOT of goals like the one in the video above when he played for the Erie Otters.

Joonas Korpisalo more than likely shit himself when he saw McDavid emerge through the entire team and all that was left was him. 

IMPORTANT NEWS: Jagr Flow To Make Triumphant Return

jaromir-jagr-hair

jaromir-jagr-mullet

By Doud

The Hockey News: “I have to.”

You’re damn right you have to Jaromir, there’s literally no reason you should have ever cut it in the first place.  The biggest crime in the game over the past decade and a half is the absence of that magnificent and legendary mane.

But Jags, you couldn’t make this monumental announcement like a week ago?  C’mon bro, I had my fantasy draft on Saturday night and would have made you my first round pick if I knew the legendary Jagr Flow was gonna be back in action this year.  If you don’t think Jaromir’s gonna tear shit up and put up astounding numbers whilst his mane of glory dazzles defenders then you don’t know anything about hockey or the 90s and you’re just flat out a stupid person.  Throw out all preseason picks and put the Panthers on top of your list of contenders ‘cuz theres just no stopping Jagr Flow.  I’m setting the over/under at 473 for points this year by the ageless Czech, and I’m taking the over.  By a lot.

Education:

Tavares, Islanders Join nWo

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nwo

By Doud

Well you knew this was coming, there was no way the isles would move to Brooklyn and not want to jump on the Nets’ all black everything bandwagon to attempt to drum up the BK Hipster fandom.  Lets get one thing clear off the top: if you say you hate this look your’re wrong and Kevin Nash, Hollywood Hogan and Scott Hall will fuck you up.  Its a solid uniform set head to toe with a simplistic, yet iconic jersey design with the four pinstripes on the sleeves representing the only time they’ve ever been relevant  …well you know what it represents.  The NY logo is bold and front and center and is honestly a great look.  The BKLYN helmet logos are a bit of a mouthful but fit the overall motif they’re goin for of “yo we play in Brooklyn now so get over it.”

Having said that is Barclay’s Center actually a prison?  Or does this look just re-iterate that Islander fans won’t show up to Brooklyn and they anticipate the place being as silent as a mime? Perhaps its a dark representation that the Islanders are in fact dead considering that name is nowhere to be found on this uni.  We all know Brooklyn is hipster as fuck but didn’t realize how emo it apparently is (I could go on and on). Either way it’s yet another large departure from the solid and iconic blue and orange uniform/color set that the Isles have always had, which along with the Oilers is up there as best in the game, and that’s the only reason why Islander die-hards might deride them.  That, and all the other reasons I listed in this paragraph.

Marc-Andre Fleury Did A Really Good Dennis Lemieux In This Remake Of Slapshot’s Opening Scene 

by Trapp

Not too shabby by Flower. I mean you’d even think they were the same player when you watch some of Fleury’s recent playoff performances. Regardless this video was actually funny. Wish they had Bob Errey playing Jim Carr instead of Dan Potash so Fleury could actually spear him. Bob Errey sucks. 

Dale Purinton Was Arrested For Burglary and Has A Terrifying Mug Shot 

By Trapp

  

An incident that occurred last week was rectified last night. The former New York Ranger who legitimately had a worse overall awarensss for the game of hockey than Rich Pilon was arrested last night. Yeah the guy who tried to gouge out Colton Orr’s eyes in a fight when Orr was on the Bruins. Yeah that guy. Dale Purinton. 

  
Dickhead Dale thought it was a tremendous idea to break into someone’s home, injure them and flea the scene. Also I’m probably gonna have nightmares after gettin a look at that mug shot. Good God dude.

The Sedin Twins Played A Game Of Horse Yesterday And It Makes Me Feel Better About My Life 

by Trapp

For me to really elaborate on this would give me such a migraine and I’m not looking to get into that today. This fuckin New Jersey heat is bad enough. These two are so awkwardly bad I was just laughing the whole time watching it. 

Here’s a picture of them playing soccer. Wish there was video footage of this.

  
If their game of horse wasn’t orchestrated this way then they are complete failures:

NHL Veteran Daniel Briere Calls It A Career

by Trapp

  
Danny B has played his final game in the NHL and it’s too bad it was with the Avalanche. All the damage he did against teams throughout his career in the playoffs was fun to watch except against my Rangers in 2007 but I digress. The former 1996 first round pick to the Phoenix Coyotes exits the game without a Stanley Cup. When healthy he was an exciting player to watch and he scored some clutch goals and did the same celebration legitimately every time. 

Not to mention the guy put 30 points in 2010 playoffs as a member of the Flyers when they went on to eventually lose to Chicago in the finals.

I Spy A Legend In The ’92 US v Canada Media All Star Game 

by Trapp

Today is apparently left Handers day and the man, the myth, the legend John Giannone posted this on his Twitter:  

Here’s the full size picture:

 
His beer league look is exceptional. I feel like I’ve written several posts about my encounter with John at the Flying Puck after a ranger game in the city. Myself and my beer league team hung out with Giannone for an entire night and it was just an awesome time. The guy is a real dude and a good man. We all hung out told stories, talked hockey and he and I yelled GET IT.. Truly a remarkable time.

  
Because today is Left Handers Day, everything has to be done today your left hand.