Dale Purinton Was Arrested For Burglary and Has A Terrifying Mug Shot 

By Trapp

  

An incident that occurred last week was rectified last night. The former New York Ranger who legitimately had a worse overall awarensss for the game of hockey than Rich Pilon was arrested last night. Yeah the guy who tried to gouge out Colton Orr’s eyes in a fight when Orr was on the Bruins. Yeah that guy. Dale Purinton. 

  
Dickhead Dale thought it was a tremendous idea to break into someone’s home, injure them and flea the scene. Also I’m probably gonna have nightmares after gettin a look at that mug shot. Good God dude.

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I Spy A Legend In The ’92 US v Canada Media All Star Game 

by Trapp

Today is apparently left Handers day and the man, the myth, the legend John Giannone posted this on his Twitter:  

Here’s the full size picture:

 
His beer league look is exceptional. I feel like I’ve written several posts about my encounter with John at the Flying Puck after a ranger game in the city. Myself and my beer league team hung out with Giannone for an entire night and it was just an awesome time. The guy is a real dude and a good man. We all hung out told stories, talked hockey and he and I yelled GET IT.. Truly a remarkable time.

  
Because today is Left Handers Day, everything has to be done today your left hand. 

21 Years Ago Today And 21 Years Of Pain

by Trapp

 
  

Remarkable day in American History occurred 21 years ago today. Obviously I’m drinkin reeb and watching MSG. It’s very hard for me dealing with waiting another year to see the Rangers make the post season and compete for the Stanley Cup. 21 years ago I was like fuckin 5 years old and shit was different then. We had quality movies like Speed and music like Smashing Pumpkins and my favorite team hoistin up Stan.

With years of growing up and spending my entire life playing hockey, the respect that I have for the game has me so goddamn hungry for a cup. I’ve dealt with the dark ages from 1997-2004 of no post season. I have dealt with the getting knocked out the 2nd round under Renney. The heartbreak to lose to the Devils in the Conference Finals in 2012. Acquiring Nash and under achieving the 2013 season post lockout and bein ousted 4-1 to Boston in the round 2. 

Show John the door. Insert Alain. 

Under Alain, in two seasons this team has gone to the Stanley Cup finals and won the President’s trophy but lose in the Conference Finals a couple weeks ago to Tampa. I’m having a real hard time watching this year’s Stanley Cup Finals. I truly believe if the Rangers showed up at all in game 7 and fuckin won, they would win the cup. This would’ve been their turn to win by going back to the cup.

This team is so goddamn close and has been. I don’t care about finishing 1st, 2nd, or 3rd. You can finish fucking 6th or whatever I don’t fuckin care. The sign those yugs are holding in the first picture of this post sums up my life. Get it done. It’s now time to fuckin sack up and win it all in 2016. 

Ya Know, When I Prayed for the Rangers to Win the Cup This Year, This Isn’t What I Meant.

r10s-4-web

by Doud

Literally me watching this Cup Final:

Let’s just run it all down:

CHICAGO:

-Brad Richards

-Dan Carcillo

TAMPA:

-Ryan Callahan

-Anton StralMAN

-Brian Boyle

-Johnathan Marchessault (Connecticut Whale 2011-12)

-Pat Verbeek (Assistant GM, Dir. of Player Personnel)

Granted, I was all for the Cally/Marty swap, and Richards’ play through the 2014 run did nothing but justify his benching by Torts the previous year and I was all for buying him out last summer, but still.  This is all so brutal. Cally and Rich scoring in game 3 was not cool, not cool at all.  Don’t even get me started on the fact that the Rangers literally had Stamkos back in ’09.

FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCK

Zuccarello Could’ve Been Mistaken for Rufio During Bantam Hockey

by Trapp

  
For all we know that picture was taken when he came to the Rangers in 2011. But I’m gonna go with my instincts and assume that was taken when he was playing Bantam hockey in Oslo. Just look at that fuckin hair. It’s got Lost Boys written all over it, particularly Rufio.
 
We’ve seen how gritty and feisty the yug plays so we all know he can fight. Just gotta start wondering if he can fly and crow. 

The Rick Nash Apologists Need To Stop

rick-nash1

by Doud

So last night Trapp texts me asking what the fuck is wrong with Nash and why the hell he can’t score, or do anything to take over a game.  My response is everything I wanted to write in this very article a couple weeks ago when the Rangers found themselves down 3-1 in their series against Washington, but I held off since I felt he would break through and score a big goal in that series, which he did do in game 6.  The reason is very simple: he does not have it within himself to be a winner.  He does not have it within his personality (of which I’m very sure is something he doesn’t actually have) to be a competitor.  He’s a shy Canadian “good boy” who only operates within his given coach’s game plan, and will never elevate his play to operate outside of said game plan, despite his clear offensive skill/ability/size and speed that warrants him the right to do so.  He does not grasp the idea that superstars (of which he is one) need to take it upon themselves to make the plays needed to win.

The Rangers need him to at some point realize that he’s the best player on the ice at any given time and has the ability to take control of the game, and even be selfish when need be.  When he gets a shorthanded breakaway coming in on his strong hand side, you go hard to the net with your speed and size to attempt a move on the goalie to score.  What you DON’T do is take a goddamn soft wrist shot from the faceoff circle for a possible rebound play to Jesper fuckin Fast.

Do it yourself bro, you’re reeeeaaally good.  Game 6 on Mother’s Day, he scores a huge goal powering to the net, and I let out one of the most fulfilling yells of exclamation yet, because I badly want to root for our true goal scoring star.

He’s not absolved yet because that’s just one (albeit a BIG one) of 6 goals in over 50 playoff games during his Rangers career, and I’m very sick of wanna be coaches defending his great “two-way-play.”

The thing about “two-way-play” is that it HAS TO GO TWO WAYS.  HE’S NOT A TWO WAY PLAYER IF HE’S NOT ALSO SCORING GOALS.  And don’t give me this shit how he’s working so hard to defend and throw hits and all that. He’s not making his teammates better, and he’s not going to the net like he should.  Period.  Let me remind you what philosophically Rick Nash on the Rangers represents: SUPERSTAR LEVEL GOAL SCORING.  He was acquired in the wake of the disastrous loss in the 2012 Eastern Conference Finals to the Devils in which the Rangers beat themselves because both John Tortorella coached his players into the ground and a lack of premium twine tingling.  He is the reason a couple core team members were deemed expendable in the name of much needed added offense in the form of a true power forward.

Look, Rick Nash is a bonafide superstar, as noted by his career high goal scoring tallys this year (42).  He’s not employed to backcheck. He could very well score tonight in game 3 in Tampa and lead the Rangers to victory, and, I don’t know, it would probably make some modicum of sense to have your 40 goal scorer on the first power play unit (looking at you Alain).  But he can’t shy away from these big moments, nor can he feel like one is enough.  He needs to grow a personality quick and start to take over.

you’ve woken up in a new age: ron duguay gets a haircut.

duguay

Ron Duguay: Before.

by Doud

so you’re tellin me bon jovi will no longer be on ranger pre and post games?  the 80s are officially dead.  definitely waaayy over due but ya gotta respect the godfather of flow, a pioneer in the game of superb salad.  the only man in the game who could at any point rival jagr’s reign as hockey’s flowmaster, and had the staying power which both preceded and exceded jaromir. and my man’s wearin ties now.  welcome to life bro.   r.i.p. duguay flow, the greatest of them all.

duguay2

ps you’ll notice no capital letters were used in this post.  none will be used so long as the rangers are playing the caps. #nocaps