Mike Richards Played Beer League Hockey Before Signing in the District

By Trapp 

According to the Washington Post:
  

Before the Washington Capitals signed Richards to a one-year deal last month, he had essentially been exiled from professional hockey for nine months. He knew he needed to keep skating to stay in shape for a probably return, so he got creative.

Two nights a week, the two-time Stanley Cup champion would go to the Kenora Recreation Centre on 18 Mike Richards Way and suit up for the Kenora Kings, his brothers’ team in the local beer league. He played defense, silenced trash talk with seven-goal performances and occasionally got grumpy requests to slow down.

That seriously better have been the best beer league team on the planet for Mike to land a deal with the hottest team in the league. You would’ve thought with how shit went down he’d hire like Dolph Lundgren to be his trainer or something to make a severe comeback. Naaaa gonna drink a couple reebs..snipe..you know

In all seriousness though shit went sour with Mike and that shit happened for a reason the way it did.

He’s a proven player that “knows what it takes to win.” That’s being honest too. But I hate that fuckin sentence because all I heard during Chris Drury’s tenure with the Rangers outta Rosen’s mouth was “ohhh Joe he’s a proven winner.” 

Anyway.

Couple 7-8 point nights for Mike and here we are now. He’s reunited with Wustin Jilliams. He and his team have a great shot of winning the Cup. Shit man, if only a couple hat tricks and a good celly got me a pro contract.

This is Ovechkin callin up Mike to come play in D.C. 

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Kings Grow Tired of Sutter

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by Doud

NY Post: 

Slap Shots has been told by two sources that the Kings locked the door to their locker room following a defeat on the road within the last two weeks so that Sutter could not get in and deliver what the players apparently expected to be another in a series of lectures/tirades.

As the tale was told, after Sutter finally tracked down an arena operative to unlock the door, he was greeted by three heavy waste receptacles lined up as a barricade to what had become an empty room.

Thus, it would be no stretch to suggest tension between the team and the coach, who led the Kings to those two Cups, was a significant issue as L.A. went down the stretch before their elimination Thursday night in Calgary following a shocking defeat two nights earlier in Edmonton, of all places.

Waaaaiiiit hold up, you mean to tell me the Kings grew tired of hearing this guy talk? :

No shit.

Mumbles McGavin over here.  Three years with 2 Cup wins and a trip to the western finals sandwiched in the middle there is probably WAY too much time to have to work under a dude like this as a player.  Richards was probably elated to go for a ride on the busses in Manchester for that period of time just to get away.  Sutter’s face alone sucks, he looks like that type of grandpa you hate.  Ton’s of Canadian personality just oozing outta this guy.

Despite the fall from grace this season (that literally EVERYONE is glad to see) he’ll keep his job ‘cuz you can’t can a guy with the type of resume/success he’s had in that small a sample size but his shelf life isn’t for the long.

Add Bryz to the Incredible List of Philly Phailures

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By Doud

Hey Philly way to fuck up your whole franchise. Just about 2 years ago I sat and watched as Paul Holmgren dealt away the biggest strength of his near championship lineup (1-2 centers Mike Richards and ffeJ retraC) in order to secure solidarity in goal in the form of Ilya Bryzgalov, who was commin off of 2 slightly above average seasons in the desert. Both of those seasons by the way were capped off with less than stellar efforts in the postseason and predictible early round exits. Now granted Richards and Carter were glorious disasters away from the rink: a friend of mine from Philly informed me that multiple bartenders/owners in Old City were pissed at the trades since it meant waaayyy less business and tips commin their way from the Canadian bros. Add that to the allegations that Carter basically caused Hartnell’s divorce and you’re in a no win situation as Flyers GM. But really at what point during all their galavanting do you step in as a General Manager or even the owner to tell them to clean up? Its as if they turned a blind eye and then dealt them when they could.
The end result is no playoffs this season and Mr. Universe predictably becoming another disaster in goal and finally being bought out of his asinine 9 year contract. At least Flyer fans can take solace in the fact that your team will be paying him $14M over the next 17 years. Oh wait that sucks too. Good luck with Steve Mason.

P.S. My Warrior rep at my other business happens to also be the Flyers pro rep for that same company and flat out told me that Bryz HATES to practice. You’re a pro bro.

P.P.S. Chances Boucher comes back a third time?
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HOME ICE IS EVERYTHING

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By Trapp

LA down 2-0 to ChiTown goin back to the Staples Center. They gotta get a win tonight if they want stay alive. They gotta do it without one of their main catalysts Mike Richards.

Pretttttty sure Mike’s concussed. So yeah definitely don’t play.

“That’s a smart move Mike.”

There are positives to this situation. Although LA is back in their barn infront of their fans, this means one other thing:

The Return of Taylor Stevens

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She’s that B pornstar that gets tickets behind the visitors bench. Annnnnnd the Kings win alot when she’s got those bombs out on display for the visiting players to pay more attention to than what’s at stake. For Christ sake Pete DeBoer aka ‘K Pax’ needs to acknowledge those jugs.

If Taylor’s in attendance for the next two games and LA’s on the winning side, ummmm then that’s some serious shit.

Now, officially the NHL will not take any position on the religious implications of these phenomena. But personally, I think it’ll be a sign from God, but don’t quote me on that.