Add Bryz to the Incredible List of Philly Phailures


By Doud

Hey Philly way to fuck up your whole franchise. Just about 2 years ago I sat and watched as Paul Holmgren dealt away the biggest strength of his near championship lineup (1-2 centers Mike Richards and ffeJ retraC) in order to secure solidarity in goal in the form of Ilya Bryzgalov, who was commin off of 2 slightly above average seasons in the desert. Both of those seasons by the way were capped off with less than stellar efforts in the postseason and predictible early round exits. Now granted Richards and Carter were glorious disasters away from the rink: a friend of mine from Philly informed me that multiple bartenders/owners in Old City were pissed at the trades since it meant waaayyy less business and tips commin their way from the Canadian bros. Add that to the allegations that Carter basically caused Hartnell’s divorce and you’re in a no win situation as Flyers GM. But really at what point during all their galavanting do you step in as a General Manager or even the owner to tell them to clean up? Its as if they turned a blind eye and then dealt them when they could.
The end result is no playoffs this season and Mr. Universe predictably becoming another disaster in goal and finally being bought out of his asinine 9 year contract. At least Flyer fans can take solace in the fact that your team will be paying him $14M over the next 17 years. Oh wait that sucks too. Good luck with Steve Mason.

P.S. My Warrior rep at my other business happens to also be the Flyers pro rep for that same company and flat out told me that Bryz HATES to practice. You’re a pro bro.

P.P.S. Chances Boucher comes back a third time?

Safe To Say Duncan Keith Watches The Last Of The Mohicans

By Trapp

If anybody saw last night’s LA ChiTown game then you can agree with me that Keith displayed some cunning instinct attack skills when Ffejj Retrac decided to play coy and try and knock his glove away. Knocking the glove away is a great move if you can do it nonchalant and/or it’s against Bitch Boy Sindy Coxby. BUT, I gotta tell you, I give credit where and when it’s due and when Sindy knocked Voracek’s glove away last year in the ‘yoffs it was pretty funny. So blatantly obvious:

Nice one Sid BUUUUUUT what goes around comes around guy:

Fuckin Bob Errey blows his load OOOOOH LOOK OUT OOOH. Bro shut up.

So yeah, Duncan Keith may or may not have watched The Last of the Mohicans before last’s nights reallllly important game. I gotta tell ya, that movie rules pretty hard. Danny Day Lew is the man in the movie and I think I know what Keith’s favorite part is:

With that being said, there are three things:
-Attempting to the knock the glove away
-Knocking the glove away
-Doing any of the above and it’s done toward Duncan Keith

My God.