From Tenders to Coaches: Not That Sunny in Philadelphia 

by Trapp

The goaltending fiasco that has plagued the Philadelphia Flyers organization for years is beyond evident. Roman Cechmanek was their starter in 2000. I laughed writing his name because he was in the 2001 NHL All Star Game. He was egregiously bad at his position. For Christ sake their two goalies in their Stanley Cup run in 2010 were Brian Boucher and Michael Leighton. 

Here’s a picture of Cechmanek holding a helmet.

  

And then there’s Bryzgalov. Acrually I really can’t even get into the Ilya Bryzgalov era. 

Just go to YouTube and watch his other scene stealing monologues in the HBO Sports 24/7 winter classic for Rangers/Flyers. Jagr didn’t even wanna sit with him and eat lunch. That speaks volumes. Jagr’s easily top 5 weirdest guys alive. 

Petey Lav gets the team to the cup immediately after being hired. Gets the boot couple years later. Craig takes over. They weren’t very good. They fire Craig and bring in this Dave Hakstol guy. I’m fuckin tellin ya, GM Ron Hextall absolutely hired him because they borderline have the same last name. 

10 goals allowed in two games. You can say after two games into the season Philly looks like dog shit. Saturday night was a pure shallacking. Jagr and the Cats put up 7 against the Flyers. Jagr scored twice against his former team and my boy Trochek put up 4 points that night. The team already had a closed door players only meeting. I mean whatever you gotta do to get the morale back up do it because you guys play the Panthers again tonight and you might wanna figure some shit out.

Check out Jagr’s two goals from Saturday. 

He’s 43.

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IMPORTANT NEWS: Jagr Flow To Make Triumphant Return

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By Doud

The Hockey News: “I have to.”

You’re damn right you have to Jaromir, there’s literally no reason you should have ever cut it in the first place.  The biggest crime in the game over the past decade and a half is the absence of that magnificent and legendary mane.

But Jags, you couldn’t make this monumental announcement like a week ago?  C’mon bro, I had my fantasy draft on Saturday night and would have made you my first round pick if I knew the legendary Jagr Flow was gonna be back in action this year.  If you don’t think Jaromir’s gonna tear shit up and put up astounding numbers whilst his mane of glory dazzles defenders then you don’t know anything about hockey or the 90s and you’re just flat out a stupid person.  Throw out all preseason picks and put the Panthers on top of your list of contenders ‘cuz theres just no stopping Jagr Flow.  I’m setting the over/under at 473 for points this year by the ageless Czech, and I’m taking the over.  By a lot.

Education:

Bobby Lu aka Paul from Wonder Years

 

By Trapp

I’m gonna start with this: Roberto has the honor to call Jaromir Jagr his teammate. There’s a lot of jealousy from me there. Those two definitely gamble at a remarkable rate and pop bottles on the reg together now that they are playing on the same team that beautiful city of Miami.  

Luongo collected his 400th win last night and that puts him 11th all time in wins. Pretty amazing stat for a guy who has never won a Stanley Cup. This one time I turned into a dog and they helped me. Thank you.

Jagr Loves Cool Runnings

By Trapp

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This guy just keeps on finding a way to prove to me that his brain cells are diminishing, or he’s just that fuckin weird. I mean I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt maybe he just really likes Cool Runnings. Me and my brothers’s favorite part is the bar fight. Jagr goes from takin selfies to doin some crazy pilates to this… I mean maybe his weirdness rubbed off onto Chara after they lost to Chicago in Game 6. Literally 5 days after losing the Stanley Cup Chara did this

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And Jagr did this

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You tell me, me and Doud got nothin