Beer League Recap: Murphs Game 1

By Trapp and Steve

Final score

Murphs – 5

Other team – 0

Steve’s Take: summer beer league game 1 started the way it should, with dry land up at the bar throwing a few back. We generally have the same teams in the league in fall and spring, but with summer beer league there are always college kids back home for break putting a team in. Game 1 we played against a bunch of 19 year olds who still have yet to realize what beer league is all about…aka they can’t drink at the bar yet for pregame.

All around weird game. They had 17 guys on the bench. And they would tap their sticks on the bench after they got a shot on net. Consistently went offsides…not sure they knew where the blue line was. But I think the weirdest part after the game was when one of their players looked into our locker room after the game and told us “Hey nice game guys!”

I’ve never been more confused in my life.

Trapp’s Take: Man oh man where do I begin? My first game back with the Murphs in about 4-5 years. Brief hiatus, but much like Dean Portman’s return… IT’S OFFICIAL BOYS I’M BACK! Potted a goal and had an assist. Felt good, baby giraffe legs were gone by the end of the first. The night began with dryland upstairs at the bar, as it should. Couple reebs with Steven and a few others to wet the beak. And I should’ve seen it coming on my way to locker room after a couple of sodas exactly what we were in for.

They had full NHL roster literally 20 guys. They were warming up doin the butterfly and out of the corners it was bad. So bad. Could tell the beer league etiquette was just not there and it was a tell tale sign of what you’d get in the game. Dumping and chasing…

Dude… skate that shit in. Take a clapper. Aim for bar southern. These kids were cheering when they’d make a play that was somewhat OK. Pretty sure we scored on our first three shots. Good god, when the game was about to start one kid looks over at me and goes: “HA we got a lot of guys” I then scanned their bench left to the right it was a bus full of players four full lines easily, three sets of D. I go to the kid “game 7 huh?” Christ. Anyway they had their fifth offside of the game by the halfway point of the second period.

We won 5-0.

Next.

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Today We Celebrate Our Independence Day

By Trapp

“We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on, we’re going to survive.’ Today we celebrate our independence day!”

President Whitmore’s entire speech in ID4 is one of the most important moments in cinematic history, but his closing remarks should’ve put Bill Pullman into Oscar contention.

Let’s all take today to enjoy all we have and appreciate everyone in our lives.

TACO CANNON…I REPEAT: TACO. CANNON.

http://on.aol.com/video/game-changer–taco-cannon-coming-to-omaha-hockey-arena-518783680

by Doud

Ya know what’s stupid as fuck?  When everyone in an arena loses their shit ‘cuz t-shirts are up for grabs and shot into the crowd.  Literally every single one of you idiots are WEARING a t-shirt.

Ya know what’s awesome as FUCK?! TACOS. Just in general.  The University of Nebraska-Omaha is kickin shit up a notch by introducing, along with their brand new barn, a goddamn TACO CANNON TO SHOOT TACOS AT MOTHERFUCKERS.  Now THAT’S an in-game promotional giveaway I can get behind.  Because when I think Hispanic cuisine, what better place to look than Omaha Nebraska.  And at a hockey game no less.  Whatever man, I’d be legitimately throwing smaller folk out of my path toward an airborne taco with reckless abandon if I was given the chance.  Good job UNO.  Hockey, beer, tacos.  That’s doin shit the right way.

I Know Of Only Two People Named Corban

By Trapp

The first person I know of named Corban is Corban Dallas from the Luc Besson sci-fi movie the Fifth Element starring Bruce Willis, Gary Oldman and this chick…

The other Corban I know of is Flames rookie with a remarkable full name: Corban Knight. I found out this guy existed like literally 13 minutes ago because he scored his first goal in the National last night against the Ducks which ended up being a 7-2 routing in favor of Corban. You know who didn’t care that it was Corban’s first gino in the show? The ref.

Ref’s like “Yo, here.”

TJ Oshie is American as FUCK

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SMOKESHOW wife.
By Doud

My GOD what a game. It’s only a preliminary round win but guess what? USA 2-0, Apollo Creed is happy as hell looking down on our great nation, and Putin can go fuck himself. Overwhelming odds he’s already ordered the execution of not only the refs for disallowing the go ahead goal by Tyutin (right call) but also that dickhead Alex Radulov for taking two awful penalties that yielded the American tallys. How he was allowed to see the ice by his coach after even the first infraction is absurd, but Uncle Sam/Ryan Callahan will take it and shove it back in your commie face:

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Oh yea and TJ Oshie is a fuckin stud. Just stay out there bro, it was legit him against the iron curtain and freedom prevailed. NOW CUE THE FUCKIN MUSIC:

P.S. if you didnt catch it, Doc Emerick’s final words on the broadcast were brilliant: “So many paid their rubles to see the home team win…not this game, not tonight.” An ode to herb Brooks’ famous pre game speech.