Beer League Recap: Murphs Game 1

By Trapp and Steve

Final score

Murphs – 5

Other team – 0

Steve’s Take: summer beer league game 1 started the way it should, with dry land up at the bar throwing a few back. We generally have the same teams in the league in fall and spring, but with summer beer league there are always college kids back home for break putting a team in. Game 1 we played against a bunch of 19 year olds who still have yet to realize what beer league is all about…aka they can’t drink at the bar yet for pregame.

All around weird game. They had 17 guys on the bench. And they would tap their sticks on the bench after they got a shot on net. Consistently went offsides…not sure they knew where the blue line was. But I think the weirdest part after the game was when one of their players looked into our locker room after the game and told us “Hey nice game guys!”

I’ve never been more confused in my life.

Trapp’s Take: Man oh man where do I begin? My first game back with the Murphs in about 4-5 years. Brief hiatus, but much like Dean Portman’s return… IT’S OFFICIAL BOYS I’M BACK! Potted a goal and had an assist. Felt good, baby giraffe legs were gone by the end of the first. The night began with dryland upstairs at the bar, as it should. Couple reebs with Steven and a few others to wet the beak. And I should’ve seen it coming on my way to locker room after a couple of sodas exactly what we were in for.

They had full NHL roster literally 20 guys. They were warming up doin the butterfly and out of the corners it was bad. So bad. Could tell the beer league etiquette was just not there and it was a tell tale sign of what you’d get in the game. Dumping and chasing…

Dude… skate that shit in. Take a clapper. Aim for bar southern. These kids were cheering when they’d make a play that was somewhat OK. Pretty sure we scored on our first three shots. Good god, when the game was about to start one kid looks over at me and goes: “HA we got a lot of guys” I then scanned their bench left to the right it was a bus full of players four full lines easily, three sets of D. I go to the kid “game 7 huh?” Christ. Anyway they had their fifth offside of the game by the halfway point of the second period.

We won 5-0.

Next.

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NHL Lookalikes: Alex Semin and Thomas Haden Church

By Trapp

It’s gotta be fuckin just be KILLIN Semdog that Ovi got that Cup and went on an absolute tear celebratin it. Semin what the hell happened to you man? You put up some serious points playin in Washington. Jesus man. You’re lookin like a worn out dude who’s gone through at least two mid life crisis and you’re fuckin like 34.

I’ve been trying to pin it down for a while now who you look like and it’s Thomas Haden Church.

Your NHL career fell about as flat as Spider-Man 3 did. That goddamn scene of Emo-Pete and dancing around in the street. Incase you all forgot it was this absurdly bad moment in time nobody can ever get back:

That third Spider-Man movie easily one of the worst films I’ve ever seen in my entire life and everybody knows I’ve seen a lot of cinema. I’ve been quotin shit since I was 4. I was ahead of the curve then. I saw Showdown in Little Tokyo in 1995. I was 5.

But I digress.

These two look alike.

Also, Semin played drums on Staal’s head:

Yes It’s Ladies Night, Oh What A Night

By Trapp

Bravo might have to think about making a casting call for the next season of ‘Real Housewives of New York’. Mary Beth Leetch has emerged and is taking no shit from anyone.

The wife of Rangers legend and Hall of Famer Brian Leetch, turned up too hard with two of her friends at a gay bar in the Upper East side and roughed up a bartender. The trio were apparently asked to leave the bar and I guess that was enough to set them off. The bartender was then in the thick of it all taking haymakers and prob a couple kidney shots from a group of cougars. Apparently they busted up the dudes head pretty good he needed seven staples to close that bad boy. Man oh man these women are not to be reckoned with. Like a pack of wolves.

They even refused to pay their tab.

It was 33 bucks.

NHL Lookalikes: Steve Ott and Steve the Pirate from Dodgeball

By Trapp

Kinda looks like Steve Ott was in Dodgeball doesn’t it? Both named Steve so yea why not?

Ott throughout his NHL career was ‘that guy’ and had some really bad chirps. Heard that teammates described him as the absolute worst when it comes to that. He straight up told Giroux he’d beat him on a draw and then lost it clean.

During the intermission of that game Ott attempted to be a tough guy with Flyers coach Peter Laviolette. Yea Pete wasn’t havin any of that:

Fun fact: Ott was Captain of the Buffalo Sabres at one point lol.

I saw Dodgeball in the theater with my friend Chris..not Doud he sucks.. my other friend Chris. And there were two take aways he had from that movie when we left: fuckin Chuck Norris and cram it in your cram hole. Chris straight up said those two things on repeat for the next couple of months. Alan Tudyk gave a convincing performance as a pirate. Real character actor. He was funny as hell in ‘Knocked Up’ also. But he fuckin nailed it as K-2S0 in Rogue One.

Today We Celebrate Our Independence Day

By Trapp

“We will not go quietly into the night! We will not vanish without a fight! We’re going to live on, we’re going to survive.’ Today we celebrate our independence day!”

President Whitmore’s entire speech in ID4 is one of the most important moments in cinematic history, but his closing remarks should’ve put Bill Pullman into Oscar contention.

Let’s all take today to enjoy all we have and appreciate everyone in our lives.

Yak Is Off To The Kay

By Trapp

Really didn’t take long at all to be honest. I fuckin knew this guy was gonna turn out to be another Daigle. I think a lot of us saw this one coming. Another first overall pick for Edmonton, horrible coaching, no development. It was a recipe for disaster.

A stop in St. Louis, and one last shot with Colorado and jus like that the 2012 former first overall draft pick Nail Yakupov has officially signed a two year deal with KHL’s SKA St. Petersburg. Who knows if he decides to sack up and come back when that deal is complete but his time in the NHL is done after six seasons.

“Yea Pavel.. HA yea it’s me. Comin over to the K… I’m 24…Later.”