Scrivens Has to Be Related to Ron Tugnutt

By Trapp

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Ben Scrivens made 59 stops tonight against the fucking San Jose Sharks. That stat somehow set a franchise record for the Edmonton Oilers by passing Bill Ranford. This all blows my mind because ummmm Grant Fuhr played for OilCity.

Scrivens was literally 11 saves away from tying Ron Tugnutt’s record for 70 goddamn saves in a game.

I really don’t know if Doud could’ve handled that scenario at all…

Trapp Owes Me $32

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By Doud

Me and my boy Rob got tickets for like $15 to sit upstairs at Wells Fargo and see the Oil show take on the Flyers in a matinee tilt down in Philly on Saturday because why the hell not. If the Rangers plan to steal Yakupov or take on Hemsky I figured I may as well see what they got and let Glen know what I think because of course he knows no I am and I’m important to those types of decisions.
The night prior, obviously me Rob and Trapp are at the bar and like 10 shots of fireball and/or Jameson later the kid decides he’s commin with so I scoop him up a seat on the hub. Cut to the next morning and Trapp’s on my couch, can’t function for shit and ends up puking all over himself. Clearly didn’t make it to Philly. Get your life together son.

GOT ALOT OF THINGS TO DISCUSS, MAINLY UPDATES: PAR DEUX

By Trapp

Last night 10/28/13 marked a special night in hockey. Lindy Ruff now the coach of the Dallas Stars played his first game in Buffalo as an opposing coach for the first time in 14 years. That’s pretty special stuff to coach a team for that long, it’s unfortunate the yug never got to win the Stanley Cup all those years in BuffNation. Also in that game tonight was the debut of Matt Moulson who was acquired yesterday by the Buffalo Sabres from the New York Islanders in exchange for Thomas Vanek. Islanders gave up a good amount to get him so hopefully it pays off for them. Matt Moulson was a well liked guy in that lockerroom, let’s see how this affects the team and overall his dude Johnny Tavs.

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Moulson scored two damn goals in his debut for Buff tonight. Doesn’t really matter because he’ll be dealt at the deadline, maybe even sooner.

Tonight was also the home opener for the New York Rangers against the Montreal Canadiens. This comes after a 9 game road trip which was pretty much a nightmare for the team and fans. After the first period I gave the edge to the Rangers but the officiating took over the game for a couple questionable calls. Won’t get into great detail but apparently Brian Boyle should’ve just allowed the opposing player to skate gingerly through the neutral zone instead of bodying him up? And also Chris Kreider shouldn’t make attempts to stay onside just go offside? Regardless the Rangers ended up losing the game 2-0.

In other news: Chicago beat the shit out of Minnesota again, Canucks won, Saku Koivu probably has a concussion after the Brandon DubDub hit which was clean by the way, Robbie Scuds has a broken ankle and will miss a shit ton of time from the Penguin lineup, Hanzal is suspended again, Vanek will play for the Islanders tonight and Carl Hagelin will play for the Rangers tonight.

Tonight’s games:
NYR vs NYI
ANA vs PHI
DAL vs MTL
TBL vs NJD
OTT vs CHI
WPG vs STL
TOR vs EDM
LAK vs PHX

Mike Green Sucks

By Trapp

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Mike Green was being compared to Larry Murphy the year he scored like 30 somethin goals, and then hasn’t done shit since. I mean he puts up pretty good numbers but he gets hurt all the time because he’s a bitch and he is a liability in his defensive zone and I flat out he think he sucks. People don’t see it, but, he’s soft, he doesn’t ever hit hard, he makes shitty plays in his defensive zone and he drives a fucking vespa in uggs to their practice facility where they pretty much just practice then jumping into the glass after shit goals announced by Joe Benanantyththiti. Also he’s wearing a headband in the photo above.

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Bro get a fuckin motorcycle, a chopper, a harley whatever. Get the motorcycle ‘Grace’ that Zed aka Dorian Tyrell aka Peter Greene aka our friend Matt’s cousin drove in Pulp Fiction before he got his sack blown off by a shotgun.

Also here’s another reason why he sucks

You’re worthless, an Edmonton Oiler dodged a check from you. The Oilers are pretty much a minor league team. My god. Michael Del Zotto finishes better hits than that.

Watch this, Green scores 8 goals against the Rangers tonight.

I’M GONNA LIVE FOREVER

By Trapp

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Star forwards for the Edmonton Oilers and the New York Rangers return to their lineups tonight for their first games of the season. Ryan Nugent-Hopkins return from shoulder surgery that he had in April…APRIL!

And Rangers Captain Ryan Callahan is comin back Tommy John surgery naaa I’m just playin. He had surgery in the off season to repair a torn labrum. Tonight is Callahan’s first game under Coach Alain Vigneault. He looks to add some offense to this team who dropped their first game to Phoenix 4-1. Tonight the Oilers face the Devils in Edmonton @ 9:30PM. The Rangers faceoff against the Los Angeles Kings in LA @ 10:30PM.

With these injuries now behind both Ryans better score the first goals for their teams and when they do so, they must scream this after their goal:

That’s Right, And It’s The Choice Of A New Generation

By BLB

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Has This Been The Best Preseason Ever?







by Doud

So we’re a week out from real, actual NHL action but good god what a hell of a preseason its been.
Last night B-Town turned into Beat-down Town as the Capitals apparently take exception to legal hits and dropped em with regularity. Joel Rechlicz did solid damage to Milan Lucic’s knuckles with his nose, Aaron Volpatti rearranged Kevan Miller’s sinuses, and there was a 2-fer in the corner to round it out. Also Chara had a straight up BOMB on the PP to tie it in the third.
Then there was the complete debacle of a mele in Toronto. Phil Kessel not only is the ugliest motherfucker alive, but apparently hes a huge bitch. Granted, John Scott could literally devour any human alive and could easily be mistaken for an actual tree, but still bro man up and not use your stick like goddamn Paul Bunyan how bout. i’d have more respect for you if you just turtled but what kinda man doesn’t at least drop ’em and act as a seat belt for big John? Clarky gettin automatic 10 for commin off the bench to defend the hideous little guy sucks for Toronto but he shouldda been on the ice anyway instead of Phil. All that came after the 2 teams the previous night went the distance in the shootout and then some, which was only highlighted by Paul Ranger’s kick shot attempt which fuckin RULED. Pleas eput him in every shootout this year, if he went bar down on that I prob wouldda moved to Iowa.
Oh and Sam Gagner’s face sucks now.
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This is gonna be a kick ass season.

P.S. Marian Gaborik’s definitely gonna score 45 this year. Mark it down.

Sam Gagner Looks Like Jafar Dressed As The Old Guy In Prison

By Trapp

I guess when Edmonton Oilers players get hurt it’s far worse than the average human’s injury:

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A couple night’s ago Zack Kassian of the Vancouver Canucks went to make a check, missed but I guess felt inclined to do a spin move and swing his stick and while doing so smack Sam Gagner directly in the chops? Yeah that all happened, now Gagner has a weird lookin face and a broken waj.

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Remarkably strong resemblence.

Imagine this happened to Gagner’s waj

Hopefully this exact scenario unfolds when Gagner returns from his injury…