The First Installment of the Dangle Fest Saga

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Yak Is Off To The Kay

By Trapp

Really didn’t take long at all to be honest. I fuckin knew this guy was gonna turn out to be another Daigle. I think a lot of us saw this one coming. Another first overall pick for Edmonton, horrible coaching, no development. It was a recipe for disaster.

A stop in St. Louis, and one last shot with Colorado and jus like that the 2012 former first overall draft pick Nail Yakupov has officially signed a two year deal with KHL’s SKA St. Petersburg. Who knows if he decides to sack up and come back when that deal is complete but his time in the NHL is done after six seasons.

“Yea Pavel.. HA yea it’s me. Comin over to the K… I’m 24…Later.”

My Five NHL Draft Busts

By Trapp

With the first round of the NHL draft just hours away let’s go down memory lane and see my five draft busts list.

Nikita Filatov – Drafted by the Columbus Blue Jackets, 1st round, 6th overall 2008 draft

What the fuck happened man? You didn’t wanna play a little defense in Ken HitchCOCK’s system in Columbus? You managed 9 games in Ottawa and then it was off to the K. Your numbers in the KHL are remarkably underwhelming too. Ya lasted 53 NHL games. Notable player drafted after this dud: Erik Karlsson…

Nail Yakupov – Drafted by the Edmonton Oilers, 1st round, 1st overall 2012 draft

Holy hell have you let everyone down so far. It’s been 6 years since your draft year annnnnnd well let’s just say you AREN’T exactly this generations Pavel Bure and ya also never eclipsed over 35 points in a season. Your first name is Nail.. fucking NAIL. The NHL needs a goal scoring machine superstar named Nail! You’re only 24 and the NHL is a young mans game but the thing is you’ve been St. Louis’ and Colorado’s reclamation project. The third team to take you on should be the last. Just get a hold of whatever Ovechkin and Kuznetsov are drinking and light it up. It would be hilarious if you won the Hart Trophy next year. Notable player drafted after Nail: Filip Forsberg

Hugh Jessiman – Drafted by the New York Rangers, 1st round, 12th overall 2003 draft

2003 was the DEEPEST NHL DRAFT EVER and THIS.. THIS.. this is who the Rangers drafted. Holy shit. Gonna just get right to it. TWO NHL games. That is it. And here is a list of the players in that draft that went after Hugh:

Dustin Brown

Brent Seabrook (Oceanstream)

Zach Parise

Ryan Getzlaf

Brent Burns

Ryan Kesler

Mike Richards

Corey Perry

Loui Eriksson

Patrice Bergeron

Shea Weber

Alexander Daigle – Drafted by the Ottawa Senators, 1st round, 1st overall 1993 draft

Good God what did you do? Your numbers in QMJHL prior and leading up to the draft make my neck hurt bro.

91-92 season, 35g, 75a for 110pts in 66 games played. LOL ok. The next season, 92-93 legit your draft year… 45g, 92a for 137pts in 53 games played. You play a full season with the Senators your rookie season in 93-94 and post 51 points. OK maybe the kid needs to acclimate. It just doesn’t pan out after that.

It’s like you set the bar at 51 to be the MAX points you’ll contribute to a season when things were going well. Like aahhh shit 18 games left you could eclipse 60 points for sure.. Naa I’m good with 51. YA DID manage 616 games. A lot of people expect that number to be goals. I will say, your HockeyDB pic is very Point Break so that’s cool. Notable player(s) drafted after you: Chris Pronger, Paul Kariya.

Patrik Stefan – Drafted by the Atlanta Thrashers 1st round, 1st overall 1999 draft

Could be all Brian Burke’s fault, honestly. Atlanta sat with the 2nd overall pick in the draft and a goddamn determined BRIAN Burke and Vancouver Canucks were Sedin Army all the way.

Here’s footage of Marc Crawford trying to stop Burkey from making deals to move up in the draft:

Atlanta was like “Ight we’ll select Stefan first overall so the Sedins can go to Vancouver.” I mean the ‘99 draft wasn’t necessarily loaded but good lord. Pick Martin Havlat over Stefan! He survived 6 seasons with the Thrashers and played his final season at age 27 with the Dallas Stars in the 2006-2007 season. He’s most memorable for missing an empty net that was cock length away which then resulted in the Oilers going down the other way to tie the game in the final second of the game. Here you can watch, Ray Ferarro is gold in this by the way:

Yea Well McDavid’s Back

By Trapp

  
Listen I’m just gonna say this: Yug misses 37 games… First game back… He does this… Holy God.

He scored ALOT of goals like the one in the video above when he played for the Erie Otters.

Joonas Korpisalo more than likely shit himself when he saw McDavid emerge through the entire team and all that was left was him. 

Here’s A Behind The Scenes Look At Petr Nedved’s Western Photo Shoot

by Trapp

Casually lookin up Petr videos/pics, found this one and couldn’t believe my eyes. At the same time I wasn’t surprised that this exists at all. Things like this happen way too often. Anything involving Petr Nedved is worth writing about. 

Also Doud has two Petr Nedved jerseys.
  

Edmonton, McDonalds Already on the McDavid Train

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By Doud

I guess it’s good Burger King purchased Tim Horton’s ‘cuz no way in hell they’d survive as a corporate entity in Canada now that Edmonton won the first overall pick YET A-FUCKIN-GAIN and will no doubt take Connor McDavid.  Obvious cross promotion for at least the next 15 years that apparently they’re already unabashedly jumping on, proper spelling be damned.  If Connor is half as good as advertised you’re lookin at basically a monsoon of McMuffins raining from the crowd in western Canada that’ll make the Hamm-burglar’s presence in Ottawa look like a minor drizzle of burgers.

How Am I Only Seeing This Now?

  

By Trapp

Yup.

You’re reading that right. Tyler Bunz is a real name. 

Bunz made his NHL debut against the Los Angeles Kings. He substituted in for Ben Scrivens, who had given up 5 goals, to start the third period. Bunz surrendered 3 goals on 12 shots and the Kings routed the Oilers 8-2.

I was watching Marian Gaborik’s goals from the past season and his second goal of the game is when I stopped the video and saw that name on the jersey. Scren Bivens had pulled at this point and I see it says Bunz. Immediate screenshot. Flat out remarkable last name.

The goaltending situation in Edmonton might find it’s saving grace this summer if Cam Talbot is dealt and they happen to land him. Either way I’m probably gettin a Bunz jersey.