Derek Stepan Had DQ Then Got 3 Points

By Trapp

Derek Stepan entered yesterday’s game without scoring a goal in like 13 games. That shit changed quickly. Derek had the primary assists on the Richards goal and the Nick Rash goal. Derek then lit the lamp and made Roxanne turn on that red light with a gino of his own ending that drought. The yug got his ass off the shnide and onto the sheet, and it is all credited to having a fuckin blizzard before the game from DQ…

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Staal said that Stepan scoring was “big” sine he was in a bit of a drought and then added “he had a reese’s pieces dairy queen last night, a blizzard and that was it. He just needed a little DQ in his life and it turned the corner for him. It was good, I had one too and I think it did the trick for him. He was really happy when he was eating that, so, you know it was good.”

All I can tell you is that, that was a different Derek Stepan out there than we’re used to seeing. I’ve seen every form of pre game ritual known to man… But this beats the hell out of me.

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Derek Stepan Visits His Family After Big PayDay

By Trapp

Knicks

Derek gets his money from the Rangers, goes on a bonito fish run with Mark Cuban. Everyone’s happy.

HOW THE DEAL WENT DOWN

By Trapp

Satherweb

As we all know Derek Stepan and the New York Rangers have reached a deal after a too long of a stalemate. Drove me crazy because the Rangers needed this guy in camp since day one, but whatever it’s over and done with. Right now I’m gonna give you the scenario in how the deal probably went down.

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Glen was sick and tired of Derek partying too hard and chillin with multiple chicks on the reg not focusing on the hockey. Derek was spendin too much time listenin to his agent and not himself. You don’t need ears to listen to yourself Derek. So Glen got fed up, went to Derek’s house with a contract and Glen’s word that he’ll sign him to a long term extension during the season. This is a re enactment of Glen goin to Derek’s house to get the deal done:

Obviously that’s a clip from the 1987 classic SciFi film ‘RoboCop’. It would be borderline outrageous if that’s what happened though. Tonight the Rangers face off against Torts and the VanCity ‘Nucks. We’ll see what distasteful words John has to say in his pre and post game interviews. Cheers.620-torts-media-thumb-620xauto-301125

STEPAN THE GOLD JACKET’S YOURS, SATHER’S GONNA CHOKE

By Trapp

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Everyone is as surprised as I am that it’s taking this long for Derek Stepan to sign a contract. Me and Doud have spoken about it often and the point that he made that nobody else in the world has thought about is that he’ll be signed at the end of camp. Seems that that will be the case as we approach the Octoer 1st season opener for the NHL. Same shit happened with Penalty Kill (PK) Subban; Montreal stood firm as fuck with their 2 year bridge deal and what do you know the guy got his big payday extension durin the season last year. Subban also had the best year of his career in 2012-2013.

Nobody should panic yet, Sather said some pretty righteous things during the Edmonton intermission the other night and we all Derek heard it. It’s only a matter of time til we see Derek’s name in the headlines that he’s reached a new deal with the Rangers. Until then….

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