Blackhawks Team Security Is the Baddest Son of a Bitch In The Game

by Trapp

If you didn’t watch any hockey last night then you’re doin shit wrong. The NHL 2015-2016 season opened up last night and I couldn’t be more excited. Lots of shit happened. Cockbab obviously used the NHL’s first coach challenge and prevailed. Lucic is still a moron, Rangers got a nice victory on the road over the reigning Stanley Cup champs and it was tremendous to start the season that way.

The Blackhawks had a pregame ceremony to commemorate the previous season’s success and they raised their 2014-2015 Stanley Cup banner. Prior to the banner raising, the Blackhawks took a half hour to pretty much show every single person that ever worked for the team and/or worked at the United Center. Shit took forever. They were classy when they showed and thanked retired player Kimmo Timonen and went on to show trainers, scouts, coaches. They then threw a fuckin curveball and thanked motherfuckin Team Security, Brian Higgins.

  

  Look at the smirk on this old codger. Higgs looks like he has very little time for bullshit and takes no prisoners. Obviously I had to rewind a couple times hence the DVR thing gettin picked up in the video I don’t really care I was dying when I saw this guy. Higgs is like “shiiiiet” exactly like Senator Clay Davis from The Wire.

Crawford Promises He Wouldn’t Swear at Cup Parade, Swears at Cup Parade.

By Doud

Chicago Tribune: “I’m going to try to be a little more professional,” Crawford said. “I owe it to all the mothers in the crowd.”

However, moms still might want to be on guard. When told Sharp suggested getting him a muzzle, Crawford said: “That’s probably a pretty (expletive) good idea.”

Man of his word.

But really though, fuck the moms.  Cup champs do and say as they please.

Patrick Kane Was In A Turgeon Card Like 20 Years Ago

by Trapp

  

Throughout this damn kid’s NHL career, when he’s on the ice, he’s in the right place at the right time. Like, all the time. Take a look at some of these highlights.

2010 – scores Stanley Cup winning goal in overtime

2013 – scores series hattrick/winning goal to advance to Stanley Cup finals

2015 – scores goal to give team 2-0 in Stanley Cup winning game

The kid’s a gamer and he’s now 3 time cup champion. Clutch performer, flare for the dramatics. The kid can do it all, he even chose the perfect night to get glass seats with Pat Sr., because he’s in a goddamn Pierre Turgeon card. Right place at the right time, all the time. 

Kimmo Says Kiss My Ass, I Won And Now I’m Retiring

By Trapp

  

Fantastic fuckin Finnish calling it a career. He had already made this decision that this was gonna be his final season regardless of winnin the Cup or not. Missed pretty much the whole damn season from a serious injury with blood clots. That’s some scary shit. He got cleared, trained, threw some weight around got in game shape. Stan makes a deal at the deadline and Kimmo leaves that joke of a team from the City of Brotherly Love and is now headin to a perrenial Cup contending team. 

  
It was a story book ending for this guy who had won at every level but never a Stanley Cup. Ironic enough his only appearance in a Cup final prior to this one was with Philadelphia when the Blackhawks beat them in six games in 2010. Well that shit’s history and now Timmonen is a part of history. He will get his name engraved on the Stanley Cup and be part of a remarkable team.  Fuckin GET IT.

 

  
Hossa in the background doin the Tusken Raider..

Shaw Ain’t About Multiple Trips; Get Enough Beer For Entire Team In One Shot

 By Trapp

 

Rocky Wirtz is seen here giving an interview and Andrew Shaw is seen here as well. Goes to show you how good of a teammate Shaw really is by how many fuckin beers he’s carrying out onto the ice. I mean they could also all just be for him but whatever. Remarkable photo and it was just an overall awesome game to watch. 

I’m Not A Genius But I’m Gonna Just Say That Kucherov Is In Tonight

By Trapp 

  
He did that to himself last game. 

Probably hurt pretty good if the yug didn’t come back to the game. I think everyone knows my opinion of Conathan Joop by now, and he’s at again with the cryptic bullshit. He’s “considerably better”. Kucherov says he’ll do warm ups and see if Jooper wants to put him… Basically he’s playing. I hope Chicago just fuckin ends it tonight and puts the Lightning away. Can’t do a game 7, don’t want it. What sucks immensely is a couple of ex Rangers will be Stanley Cup Champions this week. That one’s tough.

Jay Q-Ville and His Boys Lookin To Make History Tonight 

by Trapp

 

Duncan Keith, Jonathan Toews, Patrick Sharp, Niklas Hjalmarsson
 
4 out of the 7 players that have been a part of the 2 cups since 2010 are in this photo above. The other 3 not pictured are Kane, Seabrook (OCEANSTREAM) and Hossa. Those 7 players are looking to capture their third title in 6 seasons. They are also lookin to clinch and close this shit up tonight on home ice. No Blackhawks team has hoisted Stan on home ice since 1938. The previous two Stanley Cup wins (2010, 2013) were on the road both in a game six. Tonight what lies ahead is another game 6 where their fortunes have been pretty damn good. 

We all saw how good this team was in 2008-2009 when they began their excellence. Joel came in, righted the wrong found themselves competing with Detroit in the Western Conference Finals and then win it all the following season. I’m not surprised  by this team’s success. They know how to win. Corey Crawford has a chance to win his 2nd Stanley Cup and that’s the only thing about this team that boggles my fuckin mind. But, it just shows you how deep this team is year in and year out.

With that being said.

Killorn Was Tryna Make Moves Before Game 4 

By Trapp

  
Yesterday Sportscenter released what Lebron’s daily schedule was. Have another look at it cuz I’m sure everyone across the globe saw it:

 
Killorn ain’t about that life. He gonna go on Hinge make a couple swipes and go play for the Stanley Cup. Hinge is apparently another Tinder. He’s got New York listed as his current area despite being now in a new series with ChiTown. He was definitely schemin in the Conference Finals against New York and just never changed his city when they advanced. 

Maybe a couple swipes before game 5 will get him on the score sheet in more ways than one because he was swipin Wednesday and did this:

The Curious Case of Benjamin Bishop

by Trapp 

  
Con Jooper keeps making jokes like the shmuck he is “Hey come on he’s 6’7 it takes a long time for him to get up!” That shit isn’t really fooling anybody dude. You had 20 year old Vasilevskiy in for game 4 and was most likely shitting his pants. I personally don’t think Chicago tested him enough and it was also the worst game the Blackhawks played in the post season this year. 

Point is, there is alot of annoying speculation as to what’s wrong with Benjamin. 

Aftermath of Saad driving the net and colliding with Bishop.

Game 2 he leaves the net, comes back, leaves the net and yada yada yada fuckin circus act. A lot of people on Twitter were sharing what they think is the issue with Bishop and a lot of people chirped him for bein soft. Luongo tweeted that it could be diarrhea. I’m gonna rule that one out though even though it’s hilarious. Doud suggested to Puck Daddy and was mentioned on their podcast that it was actually Jean Claude Van Damme escaping henchmen like in Sudden Death.

  
  
I won’t rule that one out because I pray to Christ that happened in game 2 and/or has happened before period. But at the end of the day Benjamin Bish is probably dealing with a hip or groin issue. He did not partake in today’s practice and there have been multiple updates within like 20 minutes saying he’s “uncertain” for game 5 and one that he’s “hopeful” and getting better each day. This shit’s getting annoying. Which one is it? Suck it up Ben. I hope you do play tomorrow night and there are endless chirps around the net and between plays from the Hawks directed toward you. 

You won’t be the first Benjamin disliked mightily by the people of Chicago. 

Ya Know, When I Prayed for the Rangers to Win the Cup This Year, This Isn’t What I Meant.

r10s-4-web

by Doud

Literally me watching this Cup Final:

Let’s just run it all down:

CHICAGO:

-Brad Richards

-Dan Carcillo

TAMPA:

-Ryan Callahan

-Anton StralMAN

-Brian Boyle

-Johnathan Marchessault (Connecticut Whale 2011-12)

-Pat Verbeek (Assistant GM, Dir. of Player Personnel)

Granted, I was all for the Cally/Marty swap, and Richards’ play through the 2014 run did nothing but justify his benching by Torts the previous year and I was all for buying him out last summer, but still.  This is all so brutal. Cally and Rich scoring in game 3 was not cool, not cool at all.  Don’t even get me started on the fact that the Rangers literally had Stamkos back in ’09.

FUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCK