This guy just keeps on finding a way to prove to me that his brain cells are diminishing, or he’s just that fuckin weird. I mean I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt maybe he just really likes Cool Runnings. Me and my brothers’s favorite part is the bar fight. Jagr goes from takin selfies to doin some crazy pilates to this… I mean maybe his weirdness rubbed off onto Chara after they lost to Chicago in Game 6. Literally 5 days after losing the Stanley Cup Chara did this
And Jagr did this
You tell me, me and Doud got nothin
So we’re a week out from real, actual NHL action but good god what a hell of a preseason its been.
Last night B-Town turned into Beat-down Town as the Capitals apparently take exception to legal hits and dropped em with regularity. Joel Rechlicz did solid damage to Milan Lucic’s knuckles with his nose, Aaron Volpatti rearranged Kevan Miller’s sinuses, and there was a 2-fer in the corner to round it out. Also Chara had a straight up BOMB on the PP to tie it in the third.
Then there was the complete debacle of a mele in Toronto. Phil Kessel not only is the ugliest motherfucker alive, but apparently hes a huge bitch. Granted, John Scott could literally devour any human alive and could easily be mistaken for an actual tree, but still bro man up and not use your stick like goddamn Paul Bunyan how bout. i’d have more respect for you if you just turtled but what kinda man doesn’t at least drop ’em and act as a seat belt for big John? Clarky gettin automatic 10 for commin off the bench to defend the hideous little guy sucks for Toronto but he shouldda been on the ice anyway instead of Phil. All that came after the 2 teams the previous night went the distance in the shootout and then some, which was only highlighted by Paul Ranger’s kick shot attempt which fuckin RULED. Pleas eput him in every shootout this year, if he went bar down on that I prob wouldda moved to Iowa.
Oh and Sam Gagner’s face sucks now.
This is gonna be a kick ass season.
P.S. Marian Gaborik’s definitely gonna score 45 this year. Mark it down.
FF to 4:45
Luongo tweeted this pic of his car yesterday. 70000% chance this was done by Tim Thomas right?
Tim Tom wants back into the NHL. Best way to get a team’s attention? Make sure they know for SURE that he won’t be pumping anyone’s tires, in fact FUCK TIRES.
Your move Luongo, Your move…
Jaromir Jagr does whatever the fuck he wants. From drivin 200 mph, to gambling everywhere he can, to signing with the Flyers instead of Montreal or Pittsburgh in 2011, and makin delicious peanut butter, the fuckin guy is a GEM. All that plus dopest hands in the history of the game hands down end of debate that wasn’t even a debate and speed and the fact that he basically resurrected the Rangers in 2006 are reasons why hes one of my favorites ever.
The pic above is a screen cap of a video he posted on his official Facebook page the other day of him speaking in Czech and rockin enormous shades for no reason all for the purpose of informing the masses that his next stop in his career would be announced today. We’l soon find out I guess but for now just bask in the friggen weird glory that is Jagr.
Seriously though. But really with that ending. I swear I’ve seen a lotta shit in my time but DAMN. Not sure if I’ve ever seen the Cup legit stolen like that. Unreal. Bruins are basically “HEY HONEY I’M WINNING I’M WINNING..AND I’M DEAD.”
Toronto commin in HOT:
Fuckin karma bro.
Live from B-town: Bolland and Bickell score the biggest goals of their careers to steal game 6 late to crush the Bruins hopes of forcing game 7 and capture the cup for Chi-Town. They’re goin back to Chicago with the cup and partyin for like 18 days straight with all kindsa ‘pagne, beer, and shots flowin like goddamn Niagra Falls.
I absolutely LOVE how everyone’s first thought on Facebook and Twitter alike was how fucked up Kaner is gonna get within minutes.
P.S. Viktor Stalberg with one of the quotes of the night: