Mike Richards Played Beer League Hockey Before Signing in the District

By Trapp 

According to the Washington Post:
  

Before the Washington Capitals signed Richards to a one-year deal last month, he had essentially been exiled from professional hockey for nine months. He knew he needed to keep skating to stay in shape for a probably return, so he got creative.

Two nights a week, the two-time Stanley Cup champion would go to the Kenora Recreation Centre on 18 Mike Richards Way and suit up for the Kenora Kings, his brothers’ team in the local beer league. He played defense, silenced trash talk with seven-goal performances and occasionally got grumpy requests to slow down.

That seriously better have been the best beer league team on the planet for Mike to land a deal with the hottest team in the league. You would’ve thought with how shit went down he’d hire like Dolph Lundgren to be his trainer or something to make a severe comeback. Naaaa gonna drink a couple reebs..snipe..you know

In all seriousness though shit went sour with Mike and that shit happened for a reason the way it did.

He’s a proven player that “knows what it takes to win.” That’s being honest too. But I hate that fuckin sentence because all I heard during Chris Drury’s tenure with the Rangers outta Rosen’s mouth was “ohhh Joe he’s a proven winner.” 

Anyway.

Couple 7-8 point nights for Mike and here we are now. He’s reunited with Wustin Jilliams. He and his team have a great shot of winning the Cup. Shit man, if only a couple hat tricks and a good celly got me a pro contract.

This is Ovechkin callin up Mike to come play in D.C. 

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Ryan Callahan Didn’t Score In The Shootout…Weird

By Trapp

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The guy who is a bonafide 3rd line forward who scores 40 points a season and was asking for north of $6 mil per season was called upon by his new club to score and extend the shootout last night. And whatyaknow, he did his predictable bender leg kick move then attempted to stuff it in far post on the forehand. The goalie made the save look non chalant and that was the end of the game.

Callahan’s shit move is what I used to practice when I was a squirt in 1999 because I was 10 years old and a squirt. Not 28 and in the National. You should have better moves especially for a guy who apparently is a winner (hasn’t won jack shit) and wants to join the $6 million dollar club…

Some Guy Told Me To Shave My Beard

By Trapp

I can grow a beard. I wear one 12 months out of the year. Facts are facts. My face is really good looking and I wear a mean man sweater.

Example: the night I drank with John Giannone, of course I had a beard.

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This one time when I was playing beer league and some guy attempted to chirp me from the bench:

“Shave your beard!”

I turned and countered with some not so nice things to say about a man’s wife. Recall the scene from Slapshot when Paul Newman was chirpin.

The guy didn’t chirp or do anything for the rest of the game.

Cheers.

Guess What I’m Doing The Rest Of The Day


By Doud

THAT’S how the fuck you celebrate. I have a pretty long list of dope cellys and theyre all egregious and I’ve even done most of them (ask Trapp bout the time i got knighted).
But THIS is bold as shit. Right in the dudes face. Straight up prancin on a motha fucka. I got a beer league game later and I’m 7000% studying this and learning it for the off chance i pot a g-note.