Beer League Recap: Murphs Game 1

By Trapp and Steve

Final score

Murphs – 5

Other team – 0

Steve’s Take: summer beer league game 1 started the way it should, with dry land up at the bar throwing a few back. We generally have the same teams in the league in fall and spring, but with summer beer league there are always college kids back home for break putting a team in. Game 1 we played against a bunch of 19 year olds who still have yet to realize what beer league is all about…aka they can’t drink at the bar yet for pregame.

All around weird game. They had 17 guys on the bench. And they would tap their sticks on the bench after they got a shot on net. Consistently went offsides…not sure they knew where the blue line was. But I think the weirdest part after the game was when one of their players looked into our locker room after the game and told us “Hey nice game guys!”

I’ve never been more confused in my life.

Trapp’s Take: Man oh man where do I begin? My first game back with the Murphs in about 4-5 years. Brief hiatus, but much like Dean Portman’s return… IT’S OFFICIAL BOYS I’M BACK! Potted a goal and had an assist. Felt good, baby giraffe legs were gone by the end of the first. The night began with dryland upstairs at the bar, as it should. Couple reebs with Steven and a few others to wet the beak. And I should’ve seen it coming on my way to locker room after a couple of sodas exactly what we were in for.

They had full NHL roster literally 20 guys. They were warming up doin the butterfly and out of the corners it was bad. So bad. Could tell the beer league etiquette was just not there and it was a tell tale sign of what you’d get in the game. Dumping and chasing…

Dude… skate that shit in. Take a clapper. Aim for bar southern. These kids were cheering when they’d make a play that was somewhat OK. Pretty sure we scored on our first three shots. Good god, when the game was about to start one kid looks over at me and goes: “HA we got a lot of guys” I then scanned their bench left to the right it was a bus full of players four full lines easily, three sets of D. I go to the kid “game 7 huh?” Christ. Anyway they had their fifth offside of the game by the halfway point of the second period.

We won 5-0.

Next.

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I only became aware of this now and I think I know how I feel about it

By Trapp

So soccer on ice is a thing. Really don’t think I’ve seen this before. It looks like a shit show. Full hockey equipment too… and bowling shoes. It is a remarkably low scoring affair like it’s predecessor: fútbol

I’d really like to crush at least five JT Miller High Life’s and just give this game a whirl. Just once. It probably gets old quick when you’re playing. I think I’m going to stick to talking about making a beer league comeback instead. Speaking of which, my beer league comeback is actually near….stay tuned.

Verdict: soccer on ice is fuckin dumb

Mike Richards Played Beer League Hockey Before Signing in the District

By Trapp 

According to the Washington Post:
  

Before the Washington Capitals signed Richards to a one-year deal last month, he had essentially been exiled from professional hockey for nine months. He knew he needed to keep skating to stay in shape for a probably return, so he got creative.

Two nights a week, the two-time Stanley Cup champion would go to the Kenora Recreation Centre on 18 Mike Richards Way and suit up for the Kenora Kings, his brothers’ team in the local beer league. He played defense, silenced trash talk with seven-goal performances and occasionally got grumpy requests to slow down.

That seriously better have been the best beer league team on the planet for Mike to land a deal with the hottest team in the league. You would’ve thought with how shit went down he’d hire like Dolph Lundgren to be his trainer or something to make a severe comeback. Naaaa gonna drink a couple reebs..snipe..you know

In all seriousness though shit went sour with Mike and that shit happened for a reason the way it did.

He’s a proven player that “knows what it takes to win.” That’s being honest too. But I hate that fuckin sentence because all I heard during Chris Drury’s tenure with the Rangers outta Rosen’s mouth was “ohhh Joe he’s a proven winner.” 

Anyway.

Couple 7-8 point nights for Mike and here we are now. He’s reunited with Wustin Jilliams. He and his team have a great shot of winning the Cup. Shit man, if only a couple hat tricks and a good celly got me a pro contract.

This is Ovechkin callin up Mike to come play in D.C. 

Ryan Callahan Didn’t Score In The Shootout…Weird

By Trapp

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The guy who is a bonafide 3rd line forward who scores 40 points a season and was asking for north of $6 mil per season was called upon by his new club to score and extend the shootout last night. And whatyaknow, he did his predictable bender leg kick move then attempted to stuff it in far post on the forehand. The goalie made the save look non chalant and that was the end of the game.

Callahan’s shit move is what I used to practice when I was a squirt in 1999 because I was 10 years old and a squirt. Not 28 and in the National. You should have better moves especially for a guy who apparently is a winner (hasn’t won jack shit) and wants to join the $6 million dollar club…

Some Guy Told Me To Shave My Beard

By Trapp

I can grow a beard. I wear one 12 months out of the year. Facts are facts. My face is really good looking and I wear a mean man sweater.

Example: the night I drank with John Giannone, of course I had a beard.

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This one time when I was playing beer league and some guy attempted to chirp me from the bench:

“Shave your beard!”

I turned and countered with some not so nice things to say about a man’s wife. Recall the scene from Slapshot when Paul Newman was chirpin.

The guy didn’t chirp or do anything for the rest of the game.

Cheers.

Guess What I’m Doing The Rest Of The Day


By Doud

THAT’S how the fuck you celebrate. I have a pretty long list of dope cellys and theyre all egregious and I’ve even done most of them (ask Trapp bout the time i got knighted).
But THIS is bold as shit. Right in the dudes face. Straight up prancin on a motha fucka. I got a beer league game later and I’m 7000% studying this and learning it for the off chance i pot a g-note.