From Tenders to Coaches: Not That Sunny in Philadelphia 

by Trapp

The goaltending fiasco that has plagued the Philadelphia Flyers organization for years is beyond evident. Roman Cechmanek was their starter in 2000. I laughed writing his name because he was in the 2001 NHL All Star Game. He was egregiously bad at his position. For Christ sake their two goalies in their Stanley Cup run in 2010 were Brian Boucher and Michael Leighton. 

Here’s a picture of Cechmanek holding a helmet.

  

And then there’s Bryzgalov. Acrually I really can’t even get into the Ilya Bryzgalov era. 

Just go to YouTube and watch his other scene stealing monologues in the HBO Sports 24/7 winter classic for Rangers/Flyers. Jagr didn’t even wanna sit with him and eat lunch. That speaks volumes. Jagr’s easily top 5 weirdest guys alive. 

Petey Lav gets the team to the cup immediately after being hired. Gets the boot couple years later. Craig takes over. They weren’t very good. They fire Craig and bring in this Dave Hakstol guy. I’m fuckin tellin ya, GM Ron Hextall absolutely hired him because they borderline have the same last name. 

10 goals allowed in two games. You can say after two games into the season Philly looks like dog shit. Saturday night was a pure shallacking. Jagr and the Cats put up 7 against the Flyers. Jagr scored twice against his former team and my boy Trochek put up 4 points that night. The team already had a closed door players only meeting. I mean whatever you gotta do to get the morale back up do it because you guys play the Panthers again tonight and you might wanna figure some shit out.

Check out Jagr’s two goals from Saturday. 

He’s 43.

John Moore Got Walked By Oveckin For His First Highlight Reel Goal of The Season 

by Trapp

  
Alex Ovechkin is fuckin good. Plain and simple. He scores highlight goals more often than not and I think we’re all so used to these by now. But, nothing pleases me more than him dancing around Devils defenseman and embarrassing whatever goal they have in net. Last year the Great 8 danced around Merrill and beat Schneider and it looked a little something like this:

And finally here’s what he decided to do last night to be his first goal of the 2015-2016 season. Already a goal of the year candidate.

Keith Kinkaid had no chance on that one.

  

It’s ok the Keith Kincaid from Bowfinger has some advice for you.

Yeaaa that Tampa/Philly OT Last Night Was Somethin Else

by Trapp

Couple games in action last night. Caught some of Mr. McDavid and Mr. Eichel’s NHL debuts. Eichel’s snipe was pretty sweet. But no highlights from last night will top the insanity of the first ever 3 on 3 overtime in now NHL history between the Tampa Bay Lightning and the Philadelphia Flyers. Back and forth action. At one point I was like laughing because how crazy it was. Take a look below to watch again or incase you missed it.

  
  

Blackhawks Team Security Is the Baddest Son of a Bitch In The Game

by Trapp

If you didn’t watch any hockey last night then you’re doin shit wrong. The NHL 2015-2016 season opened up last night and I couldn’t be more excited. Lots of shit happened. Cockbab obviously used the NHL’s first coach challenge and prevailed. Lucic is still a moron, Rangers got a nice victory on the road over the reigning Stanley Cup champs and it was tremendous to start the season that way.

The Blackhawks had a pregame ceremony to commemorate the previous season’s success and they raised their 2014-2015 Stanley Cup banner. Prior to the banner raising, the Blackhawks took a half hour to pretty much show every single person that ever worked for the team and/or worked at the United Center. Shit took forever. They were classy when they showed and thanked retired player Kimmo Timonen and went on to show trainers, scouts, coaches. They then threw a fuckin curveball and thanked motherfuckin Team Security, Brian Higgins.

  

  Look at the smirk on this old codger. Higgs looks like he has very little time for bullshit and takes no prisoners. Obviously I had to rewind a couple times hence the DVR thing gettin picked up in the video I don’t really care I was dying when I saw this guy. Higgs is like “shiiiiet” exactly like Senator Clay Davis from The Wire.

IMPORTANT NEWS: Jagr Flow To Make Triumphant Return

jaromir-jagr-hair

jaromir-jagr-mullet

By Doud

The Hockey News: “I have to.”

You’re damn right you have to Jaromir, there’s literally no reason you should have ever cut it in the first place.  The biggest crime in the game over the past decade and a half is the absence of that magnificent and legendary mane.

But Jags, you couldn’t make this monumental announcement like a week ago?  C’mon bro, I had my fantasy draft on Saturday night and would have made you my first round pick if I knew the legendary Jagr Flow was gonna be back in action this year.  If you don’t think Jaromir’s gonna tear shit up and put up astounding numbers whilst his mane of glory dazzles defenders then you don’t know anything about hockey or the 90s and you’re just flat out a stupid person.  Throw out all preseason picks and put the Panthers on top of your list of contenders ‘cuz theres just no stopping Jagr Flow.  I’m setting the over/under at 473 for points this year by the ageless Czech, and I’m taking the over.  By a lot.

Education: