Jagr Re-Upps With Cats For Another Year


By Doud

TSN: Jagr signed a one-year, $3.5 million contract Sunday to stay with Florida, saying he felt revitalized in his 20 games after the trade to the Panthers in February. Keeping the future Hall of Famer was a top priority for the club, and Jagr didn’t see any need to wait.

$3.5 mil for a full season of Jaromir lookin weird in Florida.  It’s pretty well documented he’s a straight up mercenary at this point but it will never look right seeing him in any uniform other than the Penguins or Rangers, even though he’s already worn 7 others.  

Also can we talk about how Jagr’s definitely a vampire?*  He’s been in the game longer than some of his cat teammates have been alive, stated he wants to play til 50, and he scored 18 points in 20 games since being traded from Jersey.  Zero chance he’s a regular human.   Also if there’s any justice in this world he signs with the Vegas team when the NHL inevitably expands there for ’16-’17 so he can piss away all his earnings like the degenerate gambler he is. 

*highest scoring vampire in history that also I guess can survive during the day

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