Getting Hit with Pucks

By The Beacon

There is nothing graceful about shot blocking. You lay your body out in front of people who can launch pucks between 85 and 100 mph. But it is all done for the benefit of the team. Unfortunately the puck doesn’t always hit players where they expect them to. Even worse, sometimes they get hit when they shouldn’t be hit or aren’t expecting to be hit. It is a price you pay for sacrificing your body for your team.

This happens on a regular basis in hockey games. Dubnyk got hit in the nether regions last week, Girardi blocked a shot with his calf when trying to block a shot, Zuccarello got hit in the back of the head, etc. There are plenty of instances. Getting hit in the head/face and the testicles are the worst spots to ever get hit whether you expect it or not, but hockey players get hit plenty of other places more often than not.

These are the next 3 worst spots to get hit with a shot.

1) Top of the foot/ankle
One normally gets hit here when attempting to block a shot. It fucking blows. You challenge the shooter expecting the shot to be high enough to be above the skate, but then either you are too close or the shooter had great control of the shot. You realize pretty quickly that you are screwed and then it hits you right in the laces or just below your shinny. Takes a solid 5 minutes before you can skate normal again if your foot or ankle isn’t broken. The inside of the foot is just as bad.

2) Inside of the knee
Next worst spot when trying to block a shot. You try and get set for the shot, shot is high enough to hit the shin guard, but the angle of the shot or through poor timing, hits you right on the inside of the knee. Nothing left to do after that than collapse on the ice and try to get up as quick as you can to not look like too much of a pussy.

3) Chest
This usually comes from unexpected shots, or when defensemen shoot high like assholes. Yeah you have a chest protector (unless you are playing in men’s league). But this shot will still knock the wind out of you. It will sting, but the inability to breathe is the worst part. Nothing like a puck inflicted asthma attack to make you drop to the ice like 5 year old on the ice for the first time.


Everyone On Long Island Hoping For Game 8


By Doud
There’s a seed of doubt in NBC’s headline there, “Nassau COULD stay open for game 8.”  So I guess it’s yet to be decided if the elusive game 8 would take place in Uniondale or Brooklyn?  If anyone with knowledge on the situation wants to get back to me on that please do, I’m concerned.  I was under the impression the first real NHL game to be played in Kings County wouldnt take place ’til October but this is game 8 were talkin here, throw everything out cuz everyone knows anything can happen in a game 8.  We’re talking about the rarest occurrence in sports, a game 8.  Calm your nerves today Isle fans, you may have the opportunity to tear the old barn down yourself should you force an 8th game tonight down in DC. 
Way to fact check NBC, keep up the effort. 

Also I legit hope this game tonight goes 14 overtimes and they’re still playin at like 10am tomorrow. 

TACO CANNON…I REPEAT: TACO. CANNON.–taco-cannon-coming-to-omaha-hockey-arena-518783680

by Doud

Ya know what’s stupid as fuck?  When everyone in an arena loses their shit ‘cuz t-shirts are up for grabs and shot into the crowd.  Literally every single one of you idiots are WEARING a t-shirt.

Ya know what’s awesome as FUCK?! TACOS. Just in general.  The University of Nebraska-Omaha is kickin shit up a notch by introducing, along with their brand new barn, a goddamn TACO CANNON TO SHOOT TACOS AT MOTHERFUCKERS.  Now THAT’S an in-game promotional giveaway I can get behind.  Because when I think Hispanic cuisine, what better place to look than Omaha Nebraska.  And at a hockey game no less.  Whatever man, I’d be legitimately throwing smaller folk out of my path toward an airborne taco with reckless abandon if I was given the chance.  Good job UNO.  Hockey, beer, tacos.  That’s doin shit the right way.

Tonight’s Schedule and Fike Misher


By Trapp

Possible series clinchers tonight with Chicago and Calgary. Going to be another very exciting night of playoff hockey. 

Nashville’s only hope is if Carrie Underwood is present tonight. Also Fike Misher is in the same category as Dan Girardi for strong as fuck faces. 


Gib waj.

This Couldn’t Be a Better Picture

Carl Hagelin and Kevin Hayes celebrate Hayes’ overtime goal.

By Trapp

Game 4 in the koobs.

Rangers have a commanding 3-1 series lead over the Penguins.

The Hayes-Hagelin-St. Louis trio were puttin on some sweet fuckin pressure which eventually lead to the game winner at the goal mouth. A little over 3 minutes into OT Big Kev slammed that shit home for his first career playoff goal. Couldn’t be a bigger one.

All 5 penguin players are down that low and were completely inept.

Anyway fuck them. Rangers can finish them off Friday night at the garden. I predicted Rangers in 5.

Here’s an even better look at the Hayes and Hagelin celly:

 Reminds me of a ‘Dumb and Dumber’ poster.

Orpik Takes A Beer to the Face

By Doud

Gotta give credit to the barbarian Isle fans for keeping enough beer in their cup ’til the end of OT to even be able to accomplish this feat.  I need a longer clip here to see if he drank Long Island reeb right in their faces in celebration of the Cap’s OT victory off a Nik Backstrom GWG.   Drink up Brooks….btw your name is plural which is weird cuz you’re one singular person so clean that shit up.