Rink Arcades

by The Beacon

Growing up, the second best thing to do at the ice rink was to hit the arcade. Yeah, there were other games to watch before or after your game. And sure, your siblings may or may not have been playing in said games. But that arcade in the ice rink was the best. I, for one, spent a lot of time playing a shit ton of video games when I was hanging out waiting to leave the rink.

Arcades in hockey rinks had to have made bank. There were a shit ton of kids waiting to play House of the Dead, Virtua Fighter, Daytona USA, 18 Wheeler, and even Off Road Challenge (Pike’s Peak was the shit). Then there was the favorite. Super Chexx bubble hockey.

But there is one game that deserves a bit more love. Midway’s NHL 2 on 2 Open Ice Challenge. Midway had impressionable games such as NBA Jam, NFL Blitz, Area 51 and Cruisin’ USA. But NHL Open Ice Challenge was memorable. When you wound up to take a slap shot, your player increased in size like he ate a Super Mario Mushroom. You can set the net on fire. And even take trick shots, jumping up in the air and spinning before taking a shot. Now, I am not saying this game was the best hockey game ever made, (we all know that NHL 94 was the best one), but it definitely was a lot of fun.

The best part of this video? Game was made in 93 and had Jagr. And Jagr is still in the league today and taking selfies.


This Is The Best Person In Canada

by Doud

“if the hockey moms can’t handle me yelling and heckling at the rinks, then they should stick to crosswords and knitting.”

First things first: yo Concepcion Bay Jr. Renegades what kinda pussies are you? You really FOREFIETTED a game cuz some fat dude with a sweet gotee may have/most definitely would have hurt your feelings during a hockey game?  And any of you players plan on potentially playing major juniors and eventually the show?  God damn Canada grow a sack one time ever. 

Now onto the legend Cory Simms over here..you KNOW this dudes made 8 year olds cry, and ya know what? He’s doing God’s work.  Pretty sure this is roughly the same region that Crosby’s from so obviously the less thin skinned, entitled cocksuckers in the future NHL the better.  If they never make it tothe national cuz they quit the game by the time they hit double digits in age then we’re just weeding out the population.  I 100000000% would pay money to walk into a rink and strictly watch Simms at work telling awful hockey moms that love their kids too much that he’ll rip their heads off.  No doubt it’s pure gold.  You just get the impression that this is his only vice and heckles kids for the high and I respect the man for being that weird.  Guarantee he lives in a condo and eats a lotta hot pockets. 

PS I’m absolutely gonna heckle Crosby and just say he played for the Concepcion Bay Renegades. 

Andrea Deveaux Goes Pat Bateman on Guy in SHL


By Trapp

Ex-NHLer (NYR, TOR) Andrea Deveaux felt tomahawking Helmersson during warmies was the only rational way of getting even after a hit in a previous game.


Yeah Deveaux’s contract was terminated. 


Jagr Takes A lot of Selfies


By Trapp

It’s an absolute treat this man is still in the NHL and that he has a personal Facebook page. If he keeps his word from last week that he plans “to play another 7 years” he will be 2nd all time in points behind Wayne. 

Never thought about it until Doud pointed out: he’d already be there if it hadn’t been for the multiple lockouts and his three years in Russia. Regardless, he’s 43 takin selfies and doin shit like this:


Does Anyone Honestly Care About the Toronto Maple Leafs?

By Trapp


What a mess: first Coach Carlyle gets the axe, Kadri over sleeps gets suspended, Booth and Kessel get into fight at practice. And now Eric’s secretary is in a coma…


I don’t ever wish upon a team what I went through as a Ranger fan during the dark ages aka 1997-2004. If it’s gotta happen it should happen to the Leafs because of this guy: