The Thomas Try Hards of Beer League Hockey

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By The Beacon

We all know people who take meaningless hockey seriously. They go out and put all this effort into playing hockey that literally serves no purpose in life. Not even for exercise because you drink minimum 4 beers after the game and probably a few before the game too. But to go out and actually try to win games and back check? Fuck that. I despise people who go out and give 110% effort in Beer League Hockey. And if those people are on my team, they are sure as shit getting chirped all game by me. Hell I will even coax the other team to start shit with them. Lighten up.

The only thing worse than that? The people who keep career stats and the ones who are constantly amped up stating on facebook how they play to win. I have recently dealt with such douchebaggery. A group of people who played at the same High School I did prior to my days there set up a group page to get a team together. Thats fine. All well and good. Don’t have numbers so the easiest way is to find them on the book. But now, a couple people have taken it too far. Posting how the game was a hard fought win. Or maybe a little extra effort next game and we can beat those guys. Or comments about how the other team isn’t that good. It’s pathetic. It’s Beer league. Who cares.

One individual posted a video for a simple (yet wrong) defensive zone coverage. Now i actually don’t mind this guy since he is a good kid, so I had no issue giving him shit and saying defense doesn’t exist and beers after the game are the only important thing. Turns into some other ass clown chiming in and telling me the following.

“I play everything to win don’t care if its checkers. I like to play the way the game supposed to be played. If U think the best part of men’s league is drinking u have a severe problem. We aren’t pros this is our pros. If ur too cool to play hard and care for an hour a week stay home.”

REALLY? Cool out captain america. Beer league is for playing hockey with good people and having a pint after (and/or before). The reason I play is to actually not care about anything for a 45 minute game each week, since the rest of my life is devoted to making money to live comfortably and not dying. Get your life together Thomas Try Hard.

Rant over. If any of you followers encounter a guy who slashes you or cross checks you or actually puts effort into any part of the game (ESPECIALLY BACK CHECKING), it is your duty to make them cry on the ice through verbal abuse… or physical.

P.S.-The only game you can go remotely close to 90% effort is if you are playing in the championship game and you want the extra 50 bucks on the gift certificate to the bar. Only time. Any other game you play in, you better be coasting and defense better not exist.

P.P.S.- I just found out that I was kicked out of this group for posting a picture of post game nutrition. Pretty sure I can just join the group again since its open to the public. Learn to work computer programs and websites. Its 2013.

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